Mindless Tedium Knitting

For the next two projects, The April and May Projects, I’m going to dedicate myself to mindless knitting. I’ve got a number of leftover balls of yarn in Yarn Bin Overladen and, since seeing this post on the About.com Knitting page, I’m interested in seeing how far my fiddling can take me.

I normally don’t like knitting scarves this way but I’m curious to see what sorts of designs I can come up with when not constrained by a set pattern.

A Possible Identification

It took me a while but, I think I’ve figured it out.

It could be a Pignut Hickory, the mystery tree out behind where I live. I think. It’s either that or a hybrid.

I am still sniffing this thing even now, the drupe smells so good. Of course, I could be wrong. It just looks closest to what I’ve seen pictured here. Even so, it still doesn’t fit enough. This isn’t like with the Persimmon where it was obviously a Persimmon.

First thing tomorrow morning, I’m going back out there to do some further investigations.

This is what happens when you deprive a child of things like this. Twenty years after most would have learned this, the grossly underexposed adult is still zooming in on things like this. Such is city living.

If I can get my camera to work properly, I’ll take some Loch Ness worthy images in the hopes that someone will get a better handle based on the pictures.

MacGuyvering Meals

Lately, I’ve started doing a lot of MacGuyvering in my meal planning where I couldn’t make the simple recipes due to a lack of ingredients. So far, I haven’t been disappointed in the slightest either.

For instance – Today’s dinner will consist of a type of ‘veggie’ scrapple patties and drop dumpling soup. The ‘veggie’ scrapple was made with Stuffing mix, a few odd seasonings, and Maseca Mix to thicken it. The dumplings were made with flour, water, and olive oil, and the broth for the dumplings was made with mainly soy sauce and water as well as a blend of seasonings.

If this turns out to be as good as the ’scrapple’ is, I’ll put the recipe up upon figuring out the measurements.

Introspection

I’ve finally completed my self assessment and, I have to say, I feel better for it.

Over the next few weeks, a number of links will either be added to or deleted from the blogroll of this blog. This is a reflection of the self-assessment and will hopefully enable me to further explore those aspects of myself I’ve discovered and further eliminate the negative aspects I no longer have either use or desire for.

Here’s to hoping.

Internal Review

Ever so often, I get the urge to dig deep within myself to figure out what is still working with me as a part of my core ethical matrix and what may be, after careful evalulation, discarded as outmoded to my current mental/psychological configuration.

I must admit that it’s been a while since I’ve done this, so I feel that this is a process that is long overdue.

When not studying, ha ha, I will be studying as much as possible for me to do so on a variety of subjects in the hopes of properly giving myself a broader perspective and better idea of where I am right now.

I just feel I need to do it. After I eat this salsa, that is.

So, you poor friends of mine who know a lot in your respective fields. Prepare for the questions. ;p

My Written Journal

For those who think I write too much as it is, be afraid, for I have restarted my personal hand written journal. The stress here at home with the Maternal Parental has gotten so bad of late that I’m trufflehunting for as many volunteer posts, job postings, and studies that will keep me away from home for as long as possible.

I talked it over with my therapist and he recommended a book to me on Emotional Blackmail, which is soon to be on my Holds list at the Library. After I came home, I tried to have a sit down and explain my position with her and, to the last, she’s just as cavalier about it as if I hadn’t mentioned it at all. I never thought I’d say this but I’m giving a somewhat serious consideration to living with the Paternal Parental over this. Even with that, I know I’d be pretty much in the same boat in that he’d only use his psychological dysfunction much as the Maternal Parental is now.

In the meantime, I predict many pages written in my journal. I forecast many volunteer hours fulfilled in the name of goodness, volunteerism, and my sanity. I also see that, as a result of the increasing financial irresponsibility on the part of the Maternal Parental, a drastic drop in my weight.

I’m not going to let the stress of it get to me but it will be from the lack of food. I’m not feeding into her whining anymore.

In the meantime, I’m focusing on getting me away from all this a lot more and for increasing extended intervals doing things aside from placating anyones dysfunctional ego or psychosis.

Dancing in the Dark of Life

Wild, it’s been ten years since I graduated from high school. I’m not dead. That’s something.

What’s more, I’m not a hardcore gangsta rapper. Kidding, like that one was ever going to happen to begin with…

Seriously, it just occured to me that this past week marked the ten year anniversary of my vomiting out into the world. So far, I can say that things have gone considerably better than I thought they would. I really didn’t see myself alive right now or even findable and, well, here I am. I have had a few setbacks but I’ve gotten right back up, dusted my ass off, and got right back into it rather than go into full retreat mode.

So, ten years from now, I want better than what I have now. Considerably better. I’m happy with the good level I’m doing in the world but I still want to do more. Me thinks a ten year plan might be in the works sometime soon. Anyway…

Here’s to you Central Career Center at Joseph C. Briscoe Class of 1999. *tips glass of cranberry juice in salutations*

List Clearout While Dreaming in Digital

It’s beginning. A bit on the late side, but it’s getting done.

I’m clearing out e-mail lists [*cough* Yahoogroups] I no longer read or ones that have effectively become SPAM mills. So, any suggestions for new groups more in line with my current configuration would be greatly appreciated.

After that, the e-mail address book clearout. Muahahhahahahahaa. Since I already eliminated some 500mb of e-mail from my client, things are running much more smoothly.

I’m mainly focusing on this because of the DTV switchover. They’re still working out the bugs for different stations around here and some of the ones I was looking forward to won’t even be on in this area until August at the earliest. Alas.

Though I am happy. I do at least get new stations from DC and better signals for the ones I do like. Getting a Pennsylvania station after so long is going to take some getting used to but, I’m game for new experiences. LOL.

In Bad Taste

What kind of perceptions does Sarah Palin have for her own daughter that she’s throwing her in the middle of this whole thing…

She seems to be the main one using her underaged daughter for her own political benefit. She’s getting attention with every outrageous comment she’s made and, while Lettermans comments about her [obviously] oldest above legal age daughter were way out of line, it seems as though she’s getting more pleasure and media perks out of this whole situation while trying to use Dave Letterman as a scapegoat for her behavior.

Then this morning on the Today show, she completely glossed over the fact that Obama was the one who actually took the high road and stood up for her daughter in this past election campaign. I know memories are short in modern media but, thankfully, mine isn’t one of them. When Bristol Palin was still pregnant, people [wrongly] started making jokes and the McCain/Palin camp were [rightly] defensive. Obama then stated how his own mother was a teen herself when she had him and that families were offlimits. That put a cool off on the derogatory comments for the most part, thankfully.

I guess, in her mind, any political publicity is good publicity even if it’s at the expense of her daughter. Poor kid.

In the interest of public disclosure, I am neither [nor have I ever been and nor will I ever be] a Democrat or a Republican.

Trust a Balmerese Accent…

Trust it to garble things out of all recognition.

Blue POL. I think Polybutylene piping may describe what they’re referring to.

Either way, it looks like they’re coming back tomorrow. Thankfully. I have a minor headache and its too hot to have people in the house today. You know, judging from this, it looks like plumbing might be a good trade to get into. Heck, they get paid either way and they’ve got to come back tomorrow.

Anyone know the going rate plumbers get paid in Maryland? I know I could GIYM but I like asking questions.

Oh Man…

The pipe situation out front sounds even more messed up than originally stated. They’ve now dug a hole six feet deep by six feet wide in places and they’re talking about having to dig closer to the houses since the problem with the pipe looks to be bigger than originally thought.

One guy is actually speaking of ‘tying it off for today, and finding a fucking game plan for tomorrow’. Oh dear…

Evidentally all the ‘blue tile’ [can't hear properly, call for plumbers] might look bad. The piping is copper.

Holy shit, they’re talking of taking the entire sidewalk up. This guy is talking of it ‘getting ugly’ and wanting to call the inspector.

I’m guessing that this has something to do with the rapid increase in ants in my kitchen. For whatever reason, their nests are being agitated and they’re coming to where they think its safest. The exterminator, when he last came, did say that he thought were were sitting on top of one big ant hill, hence all the calls for just about everyone here in this neighborhood.

I guess this goes into the same category as my shower door being forged in Romania in 1975. Found that out by accident the other day while taking a bath.

Goodbye Leak

YAY. They’re fixing the leak. The suns out and the digger is here. I almost want to watch this more than I want to work but…I got to eat, pay bills, and pay for medications…so, back to the needles.

Blaming It On The Rain

We’ve got a burst pipe outside our home and, today of all days, they were supposed to come fix it. I should describe the day in detail.

From the moment the sun started coming up, ominous dark clouds started rolling in. The ground is currently wet from a passing rain squall and the sky looks like thats just the start of things. Here’s to the poor plumbers if they go through with the repair job today.

I wish I had some coffee or something to give them.

It’s a good job I reported the pipe bursting when I saw it Friday 5 June 2009. It could have gotten really bad if it had been left to leak. Even worse, this block might have been on the line for all the excess water usage.

CB and Homework Seem to go Hand in Hand

It’s remarkable how it parallels my One and Five Year Plan goals.

Doc D v2.0 gave me homework for our sessions yesterday. I’m supposed to figure out what I’d like to work on during the time I’m seeing him and make a list of the twenty or so things. Where to begin…*sigh*

One thing I do find weird about getting a new therapist is the notion that, just because it’s a guy, I’m somehow going to be more uncomfortable. No one ever asked if I was uncomfortable with a woman therapist, so why ask with a guy…

Maybe its just me but, speaking as a person with female bits and bobs, I’ve never been uncomfortable in talking with guys. Heck, most of my friends when I was a kid were guys. It was the girls that unnerved me with their rabid fixation on permed hair, clothes, and make up.

I don’t know, just one of those weird random thoughts. He seems like a nice enough person though and, he’s even seen Doctor Who to boot. That alone gives him street cred in my reality LOL.

A Hairy Compliment

Wow, I finally got a non-derogatory compliment on my hair.

I was literally steps from my door when a neighbor stopped me and asked how long I’ve been ‘wearing it natural’. We had a pretty nice conversation.

It makes one feel warm and fuzzy. It does.

Good One

Reminder to Self – Venture often.

“To venture causes anxiety. Not to venture is to lose oneself.”
- Kierkegaard

Never Giving Up, Not Giving In

I need to find someone else with time on their hands who’s patient and willing to learn, teach, and grow. I almost gave up on [eventually] turning my growing skills in knitting, sewing, and other fibrearts and crafts into a business to sustain myself all over a series of negative experiences with someone who clearly wants to remain in the same deep rut she’s dug herself in for the rest of her life.

Seeing this quote on 43things really gave me a boost. Seeing a recent airing of a PBS special on specialized craftwork as art called Craft in America reminded me that I was doing something that mattered even if I didn’t sell a stitch. Seeing a MARC Train ticket I purchased six months ago that’s about to expire reminded me about my previously stated goals on not becoming like the Maternal Parental and allowing myself to be pulled into a rut while missing out on life. The MARC Train ticket also reminded me about fiscal responsibility, waste, and frugality. It’s going up on my wall as part of a collage to remind me of this day.

I will just have to become a better and more effective communicator because its pretty obvious that she’s purposely not holding to her end of the bargain. She gets half of anything I make if I make a sale via her talking with people. As I’ve found out after the fact, there are a lot of people interested but she’s purposely not telling me about it.

My ass will be going back to the knitting/crocheting needles, sewing machine, and anything else crafty. My mind will concern itself with the world outside as opposed to getting wrapped up in petty co-dependent emotional drama. My focus will be on volunteering, recruiting referrals for the clinical studies, school, autodidactism, my health, and working.

I’ve got a lot of things in my own future to think about. Retirement, this new found possibility of a relationship [long story], and more.

“Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.”
- Ella Fitzgerald

Now, I must leave and take my knitting with me. I’m working on a square for a blanket I hope to have done before November.

I Can’t Believe It

I’ve made multiple postings in my Danga Styled journals over the past few days. I put a ‘Please don’t delete me’ in my writings journal, started and Xposted to my new dreamjournal, and am about to write out the second of who knows how many posts in my personal journals on Insanejournal/Livejournal/Deadjournal. Wild.

I guess it’s living life. So many things have been happening lately. I’ll do a synop here later, but I’ve got to feed into this phenomena while the feeling is still there.

I Can’t…

I cannot possibly, using human abilities, watch all the DVDs the library offers in addition to reading all the books while simultaneously focusing on the acquisition of luxuries like food and shelter. I know I must limit myself but, out of the blue, my library has Torchwood. Torchwood, d’ya’hear…Torchwood.

I wish MPT sucked a little less and brought Doctor Who and all the satellite programming back on the air. If only WETA would pick up where they dropped the ball…

Stumbling Around

Muahahahahaha. I am drunk with the power of recently baked bread.

For some reason, this has brought on a desire to play on my SU account tonight.

I’ve also got thirteen stories open for editing and a hat on the 16” circs downstairs. Energy. I shall question it not.

Now, for tea and Happy Pills.

If Only Sven Could See Me Now…

I had an e-pal in Dresden a while back who first inspired me to ‘get interested’ in baking bread. It was his thing and I was always amazed at the different things he was capable of making where I could only make paste and Fry bread with the same ingredients.

He’d be proud of me, I think.

Thanks to the recipe I caught on The Frugal Girl blog, I baked my very first loaf of bread not capable of being used as a blunt weapon. It actually had a crumb and not a barren wasteland devoid of any signs of yeast life. Its actually brown the way its supposed to be and not from being burned or dried out or who knows what.

Wow, I made bread.