On and On I Crochet…

I feel as though I’m stuck in a temporal loop. Everyday, I’m doing the same thing for hours on end, without end, until I get too tired to do it anymore. Temporarily, I walk away from the project, knowing, even as I do, it’s insidiously waiting for me to pick it up again. I feel so trapped by this project. :’-(

Anyway, I’m sixty percent of the way through the blanket. Progress is slow but I’m getting there. I’m hoping to have it finished before 5 September. Realistically, 1 September isn’t looking like a possibility. I don’t know when the baby is due but, if he’s due before I get this done, he’ll just have to wait for this blanket.

Other than that, my plants are growing well. They’re all thriving. I did have to take cuttings from the Coleus plants due to the pot tipping over a few days ago. They’re happily rooting in a takeaway pint size container.

The pineapples are growing like weeds. I’m currently making plans to get them individual containers so they can branch out even further and grow stronger.

The Snake plant is almost as tall as I am. I think that’s as tall as it gets so, I’m not focusing on making it exceed this.

The orange trees are half my height. Their leaves are dropping off due to being right over the air conditioner but, otherwise, they’re alright.

The pelargonium look to be ready to flower any minute now. I’m going to give them in particular some fertilizer tomorrow morning to give them a little boost for the autumnal growing season.

The lemongrass is growing tall and strong. It seems like the more water I dump on them, the bigger and stronger they get.

The aloe vera are all vigorous and healthy. I’m still waiting for the people they go to to come and get them or arrange for their pickup.

Last, but not least, my single surviving African violet looks very healthy in its new soil. No sign of pests or any diseases anywhere on the plant. If they’re in there, I’ll root them out tomorrow. :-)

Resigned Relief On The Little Boy Blue Blanket

Based on input from various sources online and off, I’ve decided to continue crocheting the Little Boy Blue Blanket to it’s full capacity of 50″ x 50″. It’s going to be difficult but, considering the alternatives, it’ll be easier to crochet it out than unwind yards of blanket only to crochet it back up again in less than a weeks time.

I will say this: After this, do not attempt to commission me for things unless I give the green light for such things to be requested of me. I am so tired, I could scream. After this blanket is done, I want to get the stuff done for my friends and then take a long self centered break from crocheting and knitting for other people. I still haven’t made my own Winter accoutrements. I still have socks on the circular needles that should have been made ages ago.

I tend to be too open and giving with my crocheting and knitting skills. Believe me, that’s changing. From here on out, I’m being selfish. I’d really better love you or you’d better have a darn good story if I’m going to make something for you for free after this.

I’m just tired of doing things for free for most people or of being taken advantage of when I actually do charge.

I will, of course, continue to knit and crochet for charities I’ve garnered a working relationship with over the past decade. That should go without saying. For everyone else, consider carefully what you think my work is worth. Don’t ask for the Sistine Chapel of knitting and crocheting and pay me a 3 year olds finger paintings worth.

Help! Second Thoughts On The Little Boy Blue Blanket…

I get just over 1,020 yards of yarn (Pound of Love) crocheted into the Little Boy Blue Blanket and I have second thoughts about the size. Why me?

So, I am asking my fellow crocheters out there to answer this simple question. Is an acrylic 50″ x 50″ blanket too big for a newborn baby? I am not experienced in such matters, hence my overestimation. In the interest of full disclosure, a good majority of the babies in my family tend to be on the big side, again hence my overestimation. Still, I think that the blanket is too big.

I have a day over one week to get it done smaller if I do decide to unravel it. Do you think it could be done? Do you think it’s worth it? Do you think I should just continue? For the record, I do have a yarn ball winder, so it’s not like it’s that great a difficulty unraveling it.

Never let it be said that I don’t go for the difficult projects. That Nazanin S. Fard dress will be mine given the stitch count I’ve put into projects lately.

Aside from that, I’ve been invited to view a play! Yay! My friends have a part in the play An Ideal Husband at a local community center and I was invited to attend. I’m really looking forward to it even though it’s semi-back in that place. Yep, I’ll be sticking my toe into the waters of Park Heights again for the first time since my maternal grandfather’s funeral where the funeral car line drove through the neighborhood.

I don’t know how I feel about it yet. I don’t feel like I’ll have a anxiety attack from it though. While it’s close, it’s not exactly where I grew up. So, I don’t have a direct association of pain with where I’m going. Hopefully, I won’t freak out.

Anyway, thanks in advance for your help. :-)

Exhaustion is Thy Name…

I worked most of the night and this is what I have to show for it.

20% completed at just under forty rows of crocheting. I am so tired but I’ve got to keep going. I’ve got to continue crocheting if this blanket is going to be finished by the 1st of September.

I really want this to be a nice thing for the baby.

The thing is, I don’t know if I have enough yarn to go into this blanket to make it a 50″ x 50″ finished product. I have extra Pound of Love yarn in other colors, but will it all blend together well? I have a lot of beige and a little of Pale Green, Pale Blue, Dark Blue and Lavender. I’m guessing no one wants Bubblegum Pink in this blanket.

Something told me to buy three skeins of Turquoise. Good grief.

Ooooh Shiny Books!

I’m looking at an episode of Charlie Rose. On this episode they’re talking about a book made into a movie. It’s called The Giver. I’m really interested in reading this book. I’m not so excited about the movie. Based on the reviews, they cut crucial stuff out of it.

I am totally excited about getting these books. It’s apparently part of a series of four books. I’m trying to avoid reading the Wikipedia synopsis for it all because I don’t want spoilers.

In other news, I am a little over halfway through the first skein of yarn and a little under halfway done for the Little Boy Blue Blanket. I made a promise to myself that, if I managed to get through the other half of this skein before 6pm, I’d make two fresh loaves of bread and turn the current bread into bread pudding. That promise isn’t looking too good because I’m procrastinating about crocheting even now.

Methinks that this blanket is just going to meet the qualifications of blanket without me having to buy a third skein of yarn. It won’t be a full 50″ x 50″ but it should be usable as a baby’s blanket. Either way you slice it, I’m not frogging it to redo with a shorter chain.

Well, I’d better eat lunch and get back to work. Later.

Slow Progress

On the blanket – I am twenty-one rows into the Little Boy Blue Blanket. This is far behind where I wanted to be by this point. I allowed myself to be affected by external events which brought me down to a point where I didn’t want to crochet due to overwhelming sadness. Foremost in my mind, the death of Robin Williams, the events in Ferguson, Missouri and the news out of Iraq have been very heavy on my mind this week. I have to learn to work through this as I am not directly involved in any of these events. Though they may affect me, I cannot allow them to affect my work. :(

On the exposure therapy – I’ve gotten one day under my belt. That’s something towards my goal but not nearly enough when I consider what I wanted to accomplish. I made it as far as the Supermarket before I had a major anxiety attack in the street on the way home. Still, I managed to power through and get home to the safety of my room where I could lose it in privacy. I haven’t been back out since though. At least I know I’m capable of doing it. That’s something in my corner. I’ve got to keep pushing myself to get out there regardless of the anxiety.

On the writing – No headway there either. This blog entry is probably the longest thing I’ve written recently. Again, I just haven’t been in the mood to do it. Ironic when I consider that I often express myself through writing rather than spoken word. If I get double the amount done on the blanket today, I will make an effort to work on my story that’s still stuck at page fifteen. I’ve had it reviewed by someone with more experience in writing than I have and I’ve been told that it’s good. I apparently have the talent to write. I’m going to take that and run with it.

On the relationship front – I am enjoying the single life at the present. I’m enjoying flirting for flirting’s sake and not having the added responsibility of worrying about someone else’s emotional state beyond friendship or the drama brought up by someone else’s immaturity. It’s very freeing having flirty friends. :)

On the subject of Mental Health – I contacted the worst of the worse mental health centers and set up an appointment. This should keep me in therapy and medication checks for the foreseeable future. Thankfully, my old pdoc gave me a six month supply of medications so, unless they want to add to it or there’s some problem due to my switching providers, I don’t need anymore pills at the present time. I miss my old pdoc but moving on is a part of life. I accept that.