Breathing Freely – Equally and Interculturally

In reading some of the comments to this story, I reiterate my stance that women should marry out.

The initial conversation where I disclosed my opinion came up several years ago when there was a big brouhaha concerning an article in Newsweek (Alt) about Black women in the USA dating and marrying “outside of the fold” due to a shortage of available men. (More, More, More, and More)

The going complaint at the time was that the ones left weren’t willing to intellectually, economically, and socially match the women that would potentially be their wives and that the men often offered resentment that their potential mates earned more than they did in the working world. This led to subsequent petulance and emotional mistreatment in a number of cases described to me.

My answer: Marry out.

At the time, people thought I was just downing Black men. Hardly. I was downing petulant and immature behavior. If you are stuck in a situation where the locally available mates are emotionally immature and are a chasms distance from you in relating, go to the next proverbial town. What’s so controversial about that? The same goes for any culture, religion, group, etc.

If extra-terrestrials landed tomorrow and they offered a more equal social partnership that was more conducive to a happy and healthy relationship, then I would say the exact same thing. Marry out.

People should be more concerned with whether they’re in an equal and happy partnership with mutually respectful partners than “keeping it within the fold” or “doing it for the good of the _____”.

Remember, you’ve potentially got to live with your decision for the rest of your lives.

Why there is such a double standard about this issue regarding men marrying out as compared with women is ridiculous and astonishing to me, but it’s probably not going to go away anytime soon. People will be ignorant idiots about nearly anything if given half the chance. In that case, find new people. Your life, your happiness, isn’t meant to be lived totally and completely for someone else. Don’t let some idiot take away your power, dignity, and self-respect by claiming that you “have” to do what they say because they say it or cite “tradition” as an excuse. They’re only trying to use it to justify their inability to cope with the fact that you’re an independent person capable of making rational and positive decisions for yourself.

So, I say to hell with them. Marry out. You’re not property. Don’t fall for that idiotic “don’t mess with our women/men” bunk.

If the person you love is one of the types that I suggest should be left behind and you still want to find a way with them, then I wish you well. It wouldn’t be my personal choice, but I respect your right to make decisions in your own life. I really would be a hypocrite if I suggested that my way was the only way. It’s not. It’s just a suggestion.

Now I go for Yum Yums.