Academic Striving – The Goal of Success

I’m on the fence as to whether I should feel strange for having a sense of envy at their academic drive.

Growing up, we didn’t have anyone pushing us to do anything more than push a broom, if that. Heck, I was even told to drop out of school when I was fifteen.

Regardless of whether or not I’m in the right about myself, they’ve sure got a lot in the Time Management department. I think I would do well to adopt some of their methods in my own studies.

Elite Korean Schools, Forging Ivy League Skills

Yum Yums and Their Yo Yo-ing Prices

It’s another one of those “Comment got too long to post” posts… I saw an article on the Slashfood site regarding the latest food shortages and surging prices. Of course, I wanted to reply but…Verbosity Fingers just had to keep going long beyond what would have been a succinct comment. So, I bring this to you here, on my blog, out of love and peace and, if you’re nice, a hug.

I don’t even bother to buy most prepackaged foods anymore unless they’re severely on sale. The refrigerated aisle and I haven’t seen each other in two years. Snacks? What? Beyond Salsa (which is soon to be home made itself) and tortilla chips (don’t provoke me), I haven’t really bought much in the way of prepackaged anything unless its something containing vitamins like tomatoes or such. The fresh stuff costs too much nowadays.

We’ve been living on home made veggie burgers and whatever other creative stuff we could come up with that’s affordable since last year. Vegetarian/Vegan recipes have been awesome since, obviously, they don’t involve higher priced things like meat, eggs, and dairy products. The Lentil (and by extension Black Bean) burger recipe was actually inspired by the fact that we didn’t have anything else in the house to eat. Literally. Thankfully, it got us through until my next study payment and I was then able to buy some stuff to last a bit which added to the variety of the legumes. 10 for 10 deals and clearout sales on canned, near sellby date, and prepackaged items as a suppliment have been what’s kept us going over the past few months.

When I do buy, I buy in bulk and from certain merchants that normally keep their prices low like Bulkfoods.com. When I’m not doing that, I’m looking at every frugal website and newsletter (sidebar—>) I’ve come across to find out new deals, specials, and recipes. This is all for basics like flour, lentils, veggies, legumes, etc. It’s not like we’re living on lobster and caviar. I was able to buy oranges on a two bags for the price of one deal for the first time in eight months the other day without it being an economic hardship. I almost died eating them.

This whole thing is ridiculous though. We’ve either got to expand our horizons on what we consider staple foods so we can eat, because there’s a lot out there aside from the main ones in the supermarket, or find some way of getting the prices down so that we can at least afford to eat whats being offered now. I’ve known for years (duh, and you have too probably) that there are a lot of things out there that are edible (More, More, More, and More) but we disregard it all. As I noticed the list of items I was no longer able to buy getting longer, I started really looking into it. There are hundreds of food sources available if we’d use them. Most are actually of an equal to greater nutritive value than what we buy in the supermarkets and, if we can get beyond the fear of the unknown, we might be on to something. Jackfruit anyone? Persimmon perhaps?

Now I’m hungry. Heck, at this rate, I’ll take that Mozzarella no one wants in Italy…Q_Q

‘Pap’ Rally

Damn this is a good one.

Group Menstruation

I’m a college student and I’ve found that although my roommates and I were all on different menstrual schedules, now we bleed as a team. Why is this? –About Women’s Health Forums

The Beatles Experience – I Can’t Hold This One In Anymore…

I have a relative who, for the purposes of my own shame, shall remain nameless and hopefully hidden under the deepest darkest crevice the Multiverse can come up with. According to him, he has never heard of…The Beatles. Never heard of their music, their presence in the world, or even any reference to them. He’s going to be twenty in a few weeks and he’s never heard of The Beatles or heard their music.

If you think you’re floored, imagine how I felt upon this revelation. He was not kidding either. I wish he were but he really wasn’t.

Keep in mind, he’s a fan of a lot of the programs on Fox that I can’t really stomach to watch. He’s otherwise quite the Rock Music fanatic, and has spent a lot of time studying musicians from a variety of backgrounds. Santana he knows. Hendrix he worships. Nirvana he bleeds. The Beatles? No clue. @_@

Now, I don’t really like watching Fox (with the exception of House) due to obvious reasons, their penchant for canceling shows I actually like, and the mainly hideous programming they normally bring on but I do know one thing: Even THEY’VE referenced The Beatles and on more than one occasion!

WTF…this is brown paper bag with eye holes territory. I cannot and will not credibly walk with him in the streets. I love him a great deal but…no. No. No. It cannot be done. This is beyond acceptability.

As if that weren’t bad enough, when he did think on the matter, he said while in a public establishment that he actually did recall hearing a song by The Beatles. He then proceeded to sing ‘Every Rose Has Its Thorn’ by Poison as the example. O.o

I am still…in too much shock. I…don’t know how to…process this data. H…e…l…p m…e…

Anyone Wanna Join Me?

My goal is to get healthy. It is not to make attempts at starving myself, nor is it to make attempts at doing everything possible to offer my body as little nutrition as possible in the form of an unbalanced diet. There’s a whole lot more I could go on about but I’m sure you get the idea.

My mother brought up the idea of starting a progress blog where the both of us could document (her words) “losing weight”. She then proceeded to tell anyone who would listen on the telephone her intention but…as of yet…nothing in the way of input.

Given that I’d pretty much be handling the “Technical” details, how hard could typing out a few words in a remote poster and sending it off be? ‘Think’, Type, Check, Hit ‘Enter’, and go on with your life. Nope, apparently, this is too hard.

So, would anyone like to join me? My preference is for the blog to be on WP.com as…heh, I’m here. I have no real desire to go back to Blogger and definitely no desire to open an account anywhere else. If I were to offer a second/other choice, it would be Livejournal/DeadJournal/GreatestJournal/InsaneJournal with an emphasis on InsaneJournal owing to their philosophy.

Heck, in fact, I like InsaneJournal on equal footing. No offense to WP.com

I’m sick of waiting with fence sitters on this whole deal. I want to move and move now! I might just get fired up enough to start the group blog/journal myself. If/When I do, I’ll post a link.

My Mother – The Blogger

Apparently, my mother is now interested in the dark seedy underbelly of a world in which we all inhabit. She saw how blogs had an impact on The Biggest Loser and asked more about them. Her aim: to document our progress in losing weight.

Personally, my aim is to get fit rather than focus solely on losing weight but if it gets her blogging, writing, reading, AND active…I’m all for it.

I am hoping for two things:

1. That she agrees to put this on WP.com.
2. That she ropes other members of the family into it. A lot of people in this family could stand to get a little healthier.

Tall Hair Rising

In having a lunch with a good friend, a joke was make referring to my “tall” hair. I initially brushed it off as an exaggeration of what I thought was my relatively modest hair length and perceived hair height.

I just combed and brushed it a few moments ago. It’s a little over eight inches high. O.o

I couldn’t get it to grow that long so quickly before in the entirety of my life. It’s only be a year and a few days since I shaved it bald and to have it come back like this…wow. I do nothing to it beyond washing and the occasional comb/brush session. No conditioner and, until recently, not even a hot comb. With this one recent experience, I swore to myself that no artificial implement shall find its way into my hair again. No hotcomb. No perm. No grease. Just shampoo.

Aside from that, I’ve started on “The Serendipitous Sofa Afghan”. It’s not really going to be a complicated piece. Basically, I’ve been turning all the pieces of left over worsted weight yarn into one big ball and my plans for it have been to knit ’something’ with it. Whether this was an article of clothing or something else was left up to fate. Well, 200 CO stitches later, an afghan it will be. It’s getting a fringe at the end. A highly likely to be Caron Country Rose fringe.

For my travels, I’m going to be starting on “Zany Zoukplouf Hat” since his birthday is coming up in a little over a few weeks time. That way, I’ll have something small to work on when I’m on buses, trains, Metros, MARCs, and sitting in waiting rooms waiting to tinkle given all the studies I’m signed up for currently. If I’m good, it shouldn’t take long and if I’m really quick, I’ll slip in a pair of elbow length gloves for myself. Then to Zuppy The Guppy and Family.

Busy Busy Busy. Now to knit and go a’Beatling.

General Maladies

I am sick. I thought it was done for but it’s come back with a vengence. I can barely get around and this simple fact relates to something that will be mentioned later in this post.

I first started feeling ill on the 9th but, being one of those creeping illnesses and given the time of year fact that it’s not Winter, I wasn’t sure whether it was allergies or not until two days later when I woke up barely able to move. Prior to knowing for sure, I was hoping against reason that it would at least tone down long enough for me to go out with a very good and kind human being who offered to take me out for a belated birthday lunch.

Thankfully, it did. Whether though enthusiasm at being with him and/or getting pizza, the Beast of Rhinos managed to take a brief vacation and I had a good time. He’s one of the few people I’ve met that I have a good feeling in my gut about.

Sadly, it wasn’t to last.

Which brings me to today.

Which is more probable? Given the history of selfish behavior and the history of addiction to cigarettes, which has the higher governance over my mother regarding her callous disregard?

I was hacking my lungs out all night long and cigarettes were the main thing on her mind. I could barely get around this morning and…cigarettes were the first thing on her mind. I begged her for a moment to gather my scattered thoughts enough to walk straight and…cigarettes. We’re getting a delivery today and I explained that I couldn’t even get down the stairs but, even though she knows this, she just yelled at me and walked off in search of her precious cigarettes.

There will come a point when she’ll pull this stuff and curse at me like she did today and has done countless times before. Only it will be different in that I’ll have the option to leave and, believe me, I’ll take it when it does come.

Oh yeah, the scarf…the article of clothing from hell. It’s finally done. If he doesn’t take this thing, I think I’ll cry. I’ve already got the next line of stuff waiting in the wings to be made and, as soon as I hit the shower, I’m going to drag myself and my extra yarn downstairs in advance of the delivery coming. Zuppy the Guppy and family, Zoukplouf, and now my cousin as well are all on the agenda. A lot of people are getting hats and or mittens/fingerless gloves. I just don’t have the energy to do much in the scarf department at the present.

As to the full profile on the scarf, I’ll put it over on Lunar Bipolarity. I will include one picture here once I’m able to stand straight in a few days time or hopefully less.

Minding Mindfulness

Wow…today was fantastic.

I spent most of today out there but I didn’t let it get to me. I didn’t get an inch of sleep last night but I didn’t let it get to me. My mother got pissy with me this morning, did everything in her power to grab attention, and mess her own situation up but I didn’t let it get to me.

I did the Mindfulness thing my therapist taught me and it really helped in my not going nuclear today over the stuff that normally drives me up the walls of the Grand Canyon.

I even made it to an appointment on time…early even. Early. Me. Wow.

Now I have a real progress report to put in my Wellsphere journal.

Early Morning Quote Magick

Government is the Entertainment Division of the Military-Industrial Complex (Vid). – Attributed to Frank Zappa

A lot of things wrong with society today are directly attributable to the fact that the people who make the laws are sexually maladjusted. – Attributed to Frank Zappa

Don’t pay me any mind. I’m bored and nervous about an upcoming…date…meeting…outing? I don’t know what to call it but it’s happening on Friday. *sigh*

Crosstrekking Again – $27.00 Reasons to Walk

When I was still an active member of the ACE study, I went all out. I splurged and went to Payless where I bought a pair of Crosstrekkers for the lovely price of $26.95 and tax which came to $27.00USD. I swore to myself then that I would get some real use out of those shoes and make them worth the money I spent on them.

They haven’t really moved since.

At first, my reasons were valid. I was sick during most of the ACE Study. Not “I don’t feel like it” sick but “stop pushing yourself or I’ll check you into the hospital advice from my doctor” sick. :-/

After a while though, there were no valid reasons. I’d just allowed the anxiety and phobia regarding out there get to me and I failed to leave the house. I worked out, did Yoga, meditated, stretched, and everything else but walked. Unless you could going up and down the stairs…

You should see me on Laundry days. I could kick Richard Simmons ass in walking.

Early this morning, I made a mark of determinism on my Wellsphere profile. I committed to walk at least once a day for at least thirty minutes every day of the week. That’s not too difficult around here really. Walking to and from the Supermarket is thirty and walking down further to the nearest major shopping and business center and back is a full hour.

Since I have an appointment tomorrow, I’m going to start all of this Tuesday morning. My stomach is churning so much right now over the mere thought but I made a promise to myself that I’d do it and I will keep it. :-/

It’s ironic though. I feel less nervous about going to Bethesda than I do about doing this walking bit. Regardless of how I feel, I’m going to walk and, between getting extra marks for the Bethesda study, and getting good use out of these practically new shoes, I’ll feel pretty pleased.

My Mother and The Jimi Hendrix Experience

My mother was born months before the attack on Pearl Harbor. Bearing that in mind, she had no clue who…Jimi Hendrix was.

I know, I nearly died over that bit of information as well when I first heard it.

Being a child of PBS, I was raised on the Moody Blues, Beach Boys, and others from nearly infancy. Jimi Hendrix was in my blood in every way but genetics and it struck me as truly confounding that my mother, who raised me, hadn’t a clue as to what I was actually watching on television.

Then again…I mightn’t have ever seen Benny Hill, Monty Python, and others so scratch the enragement and just keep the mortified shock.

Where…was….she…when…the…world…was…happening…? According to her, she was working while this was all going on. She’d “heard” of some things but said she wouldn’t have known Jimi Hendrix if he’d jumped up and bit her. Well, considering how big he was compared with my mothers 5′3″ stature, it’s probably more appropriate to say leaned down…anyway.

She remembers James Brown. Heck, she even entered a competition to dance like him and won. Yet, she’s no recollection of Jimi Hendrix, the greatest of all time. The Legend, the man that the Ultimate Coolness can’t even get near because he’s just so much damned cooler. Wow…heavy.

Tonight though, on PBS no less, she had a chance to experience him for the first time. Her…jaw…dropped. It was like it was the first fifteen minutes of her life or something. She was speechless the entire time while, duh, I was going ballistic in copying the moves that every fan knows with my eyes closed.

My mom is now a fan of real music. I’m…just…so…proud…now. *sniffle*

Twenty Years Down – My Life With kRaMpZ

Dang. Twenty years on the nose, I’ve been bleeding. That is just too weird…

Apparently, today is the twentieth anniversary of my formal entry into puberty. On 6 April 1988, I bled like a stuck pig for the first time and have been doing it ever since. It’s kind of wild that it’s literally been twenty years though. I figured it would be a day or two off at least.

In this twenty years, I’ve gone through quite a bit. Most of it mundane, some good, and some bad. In a roundabout way, my kRaMpZ have had some influence.

One of the good things is my escape from the proverbial prison of my old neighborhood. I was honestly not made to live there and no amount of shoe horning was going to change that. Add to that the fact that people thought I was much older than I actually was, I was forced to grow up long before I was ready to. As much as I tried, nothing seemed to mesh between myself and most of the people there and, eventually, it got to the point where I just stayed to myself other than going to school and to the library, which was one of the few places I found people who didn’t either marginalize me or treat me with anything other than friendliness and respect.

When the library was taken away, then there was only school and doctors appointments that got me out. Between my social isolation and the growing crime rate, I just spent most of my time indoors when I wasn’t being bussed to Hampden to go to school.

I think that it was one of the things, along with the more manic phases of the Bipolar Disorder, that pushed my reading abilities so far through the roof. I didn’t actually know how to read more than a few words until the second grade but, once I did learn, I kicked into overdrive. I went from barely being able to read Clifford and Curious George books at seven and eight years of age to reading E.B. White and beyond at ten. By the time I was in the fifth grade, I was reading on high school level and by the time I reached eighth, I was beyond college level. So they told me on doing those tests with the blocks, cards, and words.

I did make one promise to myself back then. I promised myself that I wouldn’t be in that neighborhood in twenty years time. At least I kept to that one, eh? Twice over actually. I left that neighborhood in 2004 and moved again in 2006.

So here I am. Twenty-six years behind me, and with the second phase of my life before me. I honestly didn’t think I’d make it this far. Between thoughts of and attempts at suicide and the very salient probability of being harmed in some way during the not so nice period in Baltimores history, I didn’t really plan much beyond a few years. Now I’m actually seeing a second vista opening up before me and it’s a bit of a heady experience, let me tell you.

Finishing University is a given. I’m not going to rest until I do that one. Education has always been one of the most important things in my life and, via PBS and other media, it’s aided in my progression in understanding the world and relating to people in ways I probably wouldn’t have done otherwise.

The odd irony is that, lately, I’ve been thinking in the terms of having a family. Prior to this time it had been the faintest whisper of an abstract buried in the deep recesses of my subconscious. I didn’t honestly consider it as a possibility but, recently, the idea has become more prevalent in my mind. Whether this is the “Biological Imperative” kicking in, as my friend Walt says, or something else isn’t really something I fully understand yet. I hope to though.

After all, I am getting older. I know that medical advancements have allowed for people to have children at later and later ages, but I don’t want to be the mother of a toddler tottering after them at eighty. 0_o

It’s something I’m going to have to consider in the grand scheme of my life. I need to learn Sign Language and how to change a diaper, etc. just to be on the safe side.

I feel like that ending scene of Highlander with Christina Lambchop…sorry, Christopher Lamberts character talking about how a whole new world of possibilities had opened for him after so many years of struggling. It feels like that, yeah.

Enough pontificating. I’m going to go try the “Lentils and Oatmeal 1.0″ Veggie burger recipe with black beans this time. Ta.

Help! I’m Trapped!

I now know why my allergies and asthma have been going through the roof over the past week and a half. Apparently, the Landscaping company is out in abundance…power spraying mulch around the base of any plant with leaves.

I swear, I feel like one big hive right now. My skin itches, my nose is stuffed to high hell, my eyes are burning like the old Stump Dump, and i’m so tired right now. I got to get in the shower and get my clothes in the machine to at least wash this crap off.

Lentil Burgers Recipe 1.0

I’m making the best attempt you’re going to get at me reverse engineering this recipe. If I find out later that it’s not right, then I’ll come back here and update this with another post.

You will need:

1. Lentils (I used around 3 cups)
2. Rolled Oatmeal (I used around 2 cups)
3. Flour (One half cup)
4. 3Tbsp McCormicks Garlic Herb Seasoning (A good curry should work as well)
5. Lemon Pepper (2 Tbsp)
6. Water (for cooking the Lentils)
7. Oil (preferably Olive to pan fry the formed patties in)

Cook the lentils until well done. They should be practically melting. Turn off the heat and add the seasonings, mixing in well until the lentils are fully flavored. Take your own liberty with this as we’re probably not in cahoots with flavors.

Once fully mixed, take one dry mixing bowl and add Oatmeal and mix well with a half cup of flour. Once properly mixed, add to the lentils and stir together. The full mixture is done properly when, once fully mixed, a ball of it rolled together will hold its shape. Place a top over the pan of food and leave it for at least twenty minutes before coming back to form the patties. The whole mixture should be evenly moist and equally smooth.

Form patties by scooping up a handful of the mixture and rolling it between your hands until it’s flat. The patties should be no less than 1/2in/1.5cm thick to allow for shrinkage during cooking. It’s best to bet on the safe side and make them thicker rather than thinner though.

Pour oil in pan and heat to medium high heat. Once hot, carefully place each burger into the oil and allow to cook one one side for a minimum of five minutes. If you’re making really thick burgers, I’d recommend a longer timeframe. Once browned on one side, turn over and allow other side to cook before removing from pan.

Top with your favorite condiment or eat plain. Hopefully, I actually got these measurements right. @_@

Now I’ve got to go. All this writing about food has made me hungry. Grrr…damn shame all the lentils are gone.

They’re Breasts…

For F—s sake! Why is it that so many people are obsessed with breasts? It’s bad enough I get it from idiots who are more easily brushed away with a good swift kick in the nuts, but to get it from family too?

It’s sad that people, mainly women, don’t seem to value themselves beyond physical attributes, but to drag me down into the muck and the mire with you is bordering on the suicidal.

I’m sick of my chest being made the topic of every conversation. I’m sick of people constantly asking me my bra size. I’m sick of everyone talking about how “All the men will want to come around” me solely due to my having a large cup size. Doesn’t the rest of who I am count for anything? I’ve been getting this crap since age six and I’m honestly fed up.

I think I’d shoot the idiot whose reason for approaching me was that he/she/it thought that my sole purpose in life was to be an animated blow up doll. I’ve dumped people before over this shit.

The more morbid parts of my mind want to work my chest and arm muscles into a frenzy in the hopes that the damn things will shrink to a negative A cup just to spite people but I know that’s not likely to happen.

After searching online for a sports bra in my size, I ran across a bra size calculator. Based on the estimates of the site, I’m a 38 F/G or above. I’ve known I was a 38 all along but, due to difficulty in finding a lower cost outlet, I’ve been getting ill fitted bras until I could save up enough…(laughs maniacally at the thought considering my mother’s habit of robbing me)…to buy a few that really fit me. 42DDD is still painful but at least it fits…somewhat.

Anyway, I’m sick of it. The next person who makes a joke, comment, or suggestion about my breasts (outside of my understanding friends) is getting smacked at the very least and jacked up at the most.

Okaaaay

Not quite sure what’s going on with my (hopefully) new sites issues on Freeweb7. Half of my webpage seems to have disappeared. @_@

I’m looking in the forum but what happened with regard to their troubles don’t seem to be reflective of what happened with my site…me thinks a switch back to Freewebs might be in order. I need to know my site is going to actually be there in full without me having to constantly check on it.