How Could I Be Tired Already?

These past few weeks have been so stressful. Thanks to the power of the Internet, I have a lot of friends in a lot of places and my friendship knows no borders so long as the person is a good Human Being.

So this week has been a bit taxing on the nerves. I come from a rather fundamentalist (read: crazy) little ‘c’ Christian family who I know are egging this whole thing on when I’m not around. It really hurts to know that I spawned from that but at least they’re not ‘actively’ trying to force me to believe it anymore. After a few major conflagrations on the subject of ‘religion, “race”, and values’, the most I get now are a few half-assed attempts at conversion and a few worried looks when the subject of religion comes up along with the whispered conversations when they think I’m out of earshot/my cousins aren’t listening. There is also the ‘oath binding’ obligatory stuff at meals or else no one eats but even that is going away as the family becomes more fragmented as a result of their hardline machinations.

According to them, the ‘Great Tribulation’ is only a moment away and at any second now, some deity is going to come floating out of the clouds with thunderbolts shooting out of his arse ready to smite everyone that they hate. Emphasis on the ‘they‘ and the ‘hate‘.

What’s really sad is that not one of them actually knows anyone from any side of this conflict or anything else they claim to hate. Yet, they know that they’re in the right and that their verson of the ‘Biblical’ plan will be fufilled.

Of course, I’ve known other people who feel the exact same way even though they’re in some of the allegedly opposing camps on this issue. They also seem to think that they have the lock on what is ‘Truth’ and ‘Righteous’ in this world. I can remember two former friends mine who were so sure that what they believed in was right that they were willing to justify just about anything in the name of ‘getting back’ and ‘fufilling prophecy’ but I seem not to have heard from either for quite a while. Maybe they’re fighting, maybe they’re dead. Maybe they both hate me and are being sulky because I refuse to condone their extreme beliefs.

Despite it all, even through the cutting off of ties with people who are negative, I still worry. How can you get to know someone even a bit and not?

It seems strange to me that everywhere I turn, I find my family and like my family, everyone is at each others throats both figuratively and literally.

Maybe I was born on the wrong planet? Maybe it’s the fucking heat. I’m not sure but I want it to snow…


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