Increase in Productivity

It’s remarkable how much hiding from both emotions and relations has had a positive effect on my knitting skills. There was a point where I thought I’d never get this thing anywhere beyond the eight lines of stitched rows and in just one day, I’ve made over a foot of material.

The sad truth is that no one seems to want to discuss the fact that they lost their father/grandfather/ex-husband/etc. and instead of talking about it, everyone is either retreating within themselves or tearing each other apart with that world famous viper like verbal attack ability. I keep asking my mother if she’d like to talk but she just keeps saying no before retreating to her room. She’s sleeping a lot more than normal lately and seemingly more fixated on cigarettes.

My aunt and grandmother are circling each other like two velociraptors ready to pounce and have been fighting over every conceivable thing there is to fight about. Today was a big to do over who my grandmother was talking on the telephone with. When she finally answered who it was, most probably snapping, my aunt walked out without a word.

My mother had a nightmare that my aunt would kill my grandmother and I’m not finding it hard to believe. Of everyone I’m related to, they tend to have the most vicious verbal spats. Most of my cousins and I just avoid certain family members like the plague so as to avoid being driven insane. It tends to be the direct children who feel the need to circle around my grandmother.

The wake for my grandfather is on Wednesday and the funeral on Thursday. I don’t know where yet, but given history, it seems highly probable that it will be a funeral home I’ve been to before. Most of my relations are either Methodist, Holiness, or Jehovahs Witness, so it doesn’t leave a lot of room on where the services would be held if not at the perennial favorite of March Funeral Homes. I’ve got something appropriate to wear so now it’s a matter of getting my mother ready. I have to make sure she doesn’t procrastinate until the last minute.

By the way, thank you to everyone who offered their condolences. You guys are family to me as far as I’m concerned and both I and my mother appreciate your kindness. I will relay your messages to the rest of my family as soon as I see them. Again, thank you.


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