I’m Not Immortal – Trekking Through Baltimore

I was searching for a place today. A place apparently not known to reality. Somewhere in East Baltimore, this place exists but, today, I could not locate it.

Even with that, I had quite an adventure today and, if I’d had the money, I most certainly would have rounded off my evening with a good slice of Veggie pizza from Never On Sunday or something.

My quest in East Baltimore had to do with my ability to deliver something from one place to another. Hence my stalking down these damn files and getting lost in the nether regions of Highlandtown while between Conkling and Clinton listening to a ghetto chic chick squawking to another about how “de don’t be speakin’ no Inglighs right” and how “dat bitch got wat she was gonna git and de give her a sho’ ’cause she don’t be speakin’ no Inglighs”. Sounds suspiciously like Pee Aunt…maybe they’re related to me?

My goodness though, this is my language they’re butchering. My language died a horrible death today. Bells pealed, sirens wailed, keening women dressed in black rent their clothes and tore at their hair in mourning at the cruel demise of the English branch of Germanic, nay, Indo-European languages. Sackcloth. Ashes. Taps. Twenty-One gun.

One moment of silence please. Beowulfs’ nameless writer, Chaucer, Shakespeare, Poe, and others are surely rolling in their graves right now in agonizing pain.

What they failed to notice in their bigoted rant was that:

1. The El Salvadoran guy on the bench waiting for the bus was laughing his ass off at them to the point where he’d called his friend on the telephone.

2. I could understand enough of his Spanish to know that he WAS laughing at them. I almost kissed him but the Hyacinths on the flower stalls were irritating the heck out of my allergies.

Between talking with a few good friends, finally seeing that Ukrainian church with the golden capped spires up close, and everything after that point, the day’s been good. I’m not going to count that little sojourn into East Baltimore beyond seeing something new and that hilarious experience.


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