General Maladies

I am sick. I thought it was done for but it’s come back with a vengence. I can barely get around and this simple fact relates to something that will be mentioned later in this post.

I first started feeling ill on the 9th but, being one of those creeping illnesses and given the time of year fact that it’s not Winter, I wasn’t sure whether it was allergies or not until two days later when I woke up barely able to move. Prior to knowing for sure, I was hoping against reason that it would at least tone down long enough for me to go out with a very good and kind human being who offered to take me out for a belated birthday lunch.

Thankfully, it did. Whether though enthusiasm at being with him and/or getting pizza, the Beast of Rhinos managed to take a brief vacation and I had a good time. He’s one of the few people I’ve met that I have a good feeling in my gut about. 🙂

Sadly, it wasn’t to last.

Which brings me to today.

Which is more probable? Given the history of selfish behavior and the history of addiction to cigarettes, which has the higher governance over my mother regarding her callous disregard?

I was hacking my lungs out all night long and cigarettes were the main thing on her mind. I could barely get around this morning and…cigarettes were the first thing on her mind. I begged her for a moment to gather my scattered thoughts enough to walk straight and…cigarettes. We’re getting a delivery today and I explained that I couldn’t even get down the stairs but, even though she knows this, she just yelled at me and walked off in search of her precious cigarettes.

There will come a point when she’ll pull this stuff and curse at me like she did today and has done countless times before. Only it will be different in that I’ll have the option to leave and, believe me, I’ll take it when it does come.

Oh yeah, the scarf…the article of clothing from hell. It’s finally done. If he doesn’t take this thing, I think I’ll cry. I’ve already got the next line of stuff waiting in the wings to be made and, as soon as I hit the shower, I’m going to drag myself and my extra yarn downstairs in advance of the delivery coming. Zuppy the Guppy and family, Zoukplouf, and now my cousin as well are all on the agenda. A lot of people are getting hats and or mittens/fingerless gloves. I just don’t have the energy to do much in the scarf department at the present.

As to the full profile on the scarf, I’ll put it over on Lunar Bipolarity. I will include one picture here once I’m able to stand straight in a few days time or hopefully less.

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