The Maternal Parental has been waiting for a call from the Baltimore County Department of Aging regarding a job she applied for and the call finally came in today…denied.
She skipped going for her much overdue colonoscopy to get this telephone call despite her recent health history. On top of this is her selective interpretation of what ‘soda’ is with regards to what her discharge instructions from the ER said. She’s not meant to have ANY soda but she’s only qualifying ‘regular’ as actual soda. Apparently, the chemical amalgam that is ‘diet’ soda doesn’t register on her RADAR.
Part three, the downstairs toilet just overflowed with joy, love, peace, candy, happiness, and enough water to fill a kiddie pool. All over the carpet downstairs from the front door to the kitchen near the back door. It’s probably in the hall closet and is moving in on the formica television fast. I know it’s under the [allegedly antique] formica coffee table my mother inherited from my grandmother and it’s probably making moves towards the End table on the other side given the rate at which this water is traveling.
I actually had a weird dream about this happening, so when I heard boots [there’s a house rule to prevent glass upstairs] clodding up here, I instinctively knew what it was even before anything was said.
This is all bad. Bad things, this is. All fixable, but still…bad.
I can see consequences coming though. Much like Johnny Carson used to do.
*puts the envelope to my forehead*
I predict that my mother will try again in ninety days for another position and, due to her lack of experience in anything more modern than the 1970s with regard to work, she’ll be denied. Only then will she [hopefully] take a computer course or two and finally be up to date technologically.
The colonoscopy appointment can be rescheduled but, knowing her, it will again be skipped. I guess it will take another massive bleeding episode in the ER for her to clue in that she needs to not only avoid sodas, cigarettes, and other unhealthy crap but to also keep up with her health by keeping her appointments.
As to part three, I’m personally getting involved with that one if it gets ridiculous. That carpet is so bad that it’s going to have to be replaced. No ‘cleaning it’ or ‘just fixing the leak and waiting for it to dry’ but replaced and on the managers onus. The cause of the damage wasn’t ‘AoG’, so it is on them. On top of the fact that it leaked, it leaked into the carpet and is most probably growing enough mold to make an entire seasons worth of cheese in Asturia even as I type this up.
What’s really going to annoy me about this episode is when it gets replaced. The same carpet installment guy that came a few days ago is likely to come again and, Magic Mushrooms, my mother will try to set us up again. Why…why oh why…why…
In her words, she wanted me ‘married off so she can have grandbabies’ and then, sounding [suspiciously] a lot like my cousin, she said that ‘I should be thinking about my eggs ’cause I’m not getting any younger’. You’d think they were in collusion against me. WTF… I’m only twenty eight in a little under a months time.
Hopefully, the carpet cleaner will be hot, [mostly and in a good way] sane, and single LOL, or even better Poly. I could head the whole nonsense off at the pass. Just kidding…or am I…
I did have that weird dream. If it turns out to be too creepy for words, I may well post it.