Getting A Grippe

I was on the bus Thursday evening, trying to take care of some business when I did *It*. I did that thing that’s apparently illegal to do now unless a crowd of panicking pitchfork carrying, face mask wearing lunatics is desired in the aftermath of the act. Yep, I sneezed.

I already thought the reaction people have been having to this recent outbreak of H1N1 was a bit more on the side of…overzealous but when I saw a kid give the oddly obligatory ‘God Bless You’ before standing up as though in a trance and walking the near two mile distance to the next nearest major roadway…and who knows how far beyond…

That was just sad. Poor deluded girl.

You see, like others of my species, I’m affected by the dreaded Seasonal Allergies. Lately, tree pollen and Dandelions have been in overdrive in this part of Maryland. I just happen to be heavily allergic to several triggers and have been sneezing, coughing, and otherwise having a reaction with such gusto that people have fled in terror from diminutive me. Ah, with such power to wield, I’d rule the world with my sneezes. If I were more of a bully, I’d cough up some Fleetwood Mac tickets. No pun intended.

Get a grip. Considering I was able to literally wipe the multicolored pollen off of myself with a towel over the past few days, I’m wondering why more [Health professionals] aren’t marking the distinction between the different illnesses. Unless severe, allergies don’t usually come with a fever.

The other big half-sad I’ve been seeing lately are the Phantoms of the Phage. Most people are so busy being panicked, that they’re not thinking about just how Influenza [and other things] infiltrates the body. Masks make you look funny but, as they keep saying, unless they’re rated, that’s all they’re doing. The dreaded germs are super tiny and are going right through the holes in the fabric, the cuts in your skin [including the microfissures from washing your hands too much], and your lacrymal ducts. Even if you do go around in one, you’re still forgetting about your eyes. Those contain mucous membranes as well. I’m waiting for the day I see someone coming down the street in Maryland in the middle of our Summer weather in full HAZMAT gear.

Go on, I dare you. Hope you’ve got a good scrubber.

I could also make people paranoid with a rant about just how many things we touch throughout the day given our nature as touchy feely animals crawlin’ ’round on this big blue planet but…I’m not that mean. I would never plant the idea into your heads to think about just what you [and a lot of other people] touch throughout the day. I CERTAINLY wouldn’t bring up the American predilection for ‘fast food’.


They practically begged people to watch all the civil preparation and ethics programming on things like this a few years ago and just about everyone brushed it off as a ‘Never gonna happen’ scenario. It probably doesn’t help matters that I live close to one of the closed down schools but, unless someone’s walking around with a pre-existing condition or an already weakened immune system, quit freaking out. Now, if bits start falling off of me, that’s a different matter.

Fuck it, I’ve got clothing to knit for this upcoming Winter. Winter, the blissful time of little to no allergies. For me at least.


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