For those who think I write too much as it is, be afraid, for I have restarted my personal hand written journal. The stress here at home with the Maternal Parental has gotten so bad of late that I’m trufflehunting for as many volunteer posts, job postings, and studies that will keep me away from home for as long as possible.
I talked it over with my therapist and he recommended a book to me on Emotional Blackmail, which is soon to be on my Holds list at the Library. After I came home, I tried to have a sit down and explain my position with her and, to the last, she’s just as cavalier about it as if I hadn’t mentioned it at all. I never thought I’d say this but I’m giving a somewhat serious consideration to living with the Paternal Parental over this. Even with that, I know I’d be pretty much in the same boat in that he’d only use his psychological dysfunction much as the Maternal Parental is now.
In the meantime, I predict many pages written in my journal. I forecast many volunteer hours fulfilled in the name of goodness, volunteerism, and my sanity. I also see that, as a result of the increasing financial irresponsibility on the part of the Maternal Parental, a drastic drop in my weight.
I’m not going to let the stress of it get to me but it will be from the lack of food. I’m not feeding into her whining anymore.
In the meantime, I’m focusing on getting me away from all this a lot more and for increasing extended intervals doing things aside from placating anyones dysfunctional ego or psychosis.