On the blanket – I am twenty-one rows into the Little Boy Blue Blanket. This is far behind where I wanted to be by this point. I allowed myself to be affected by external events which brought me down to a point where I didn’t want to crochet due to overwhelming sadness. Foremost in my mind, the death of Robin Williams, the events in Ferguson, Missouri and the news out of Iraq have been very heavy on my mind this week. I have to learn to work through this as I am not directly involved in any of these events. Though they may affect me, I cannot allow them to affect my work. 😦
On the exposure therapy – I’ve gotten one day under my belt. That’s something towards my goal but not nearly enough when I consider what I wanted to accomplish. I made it as far as the Supermarket before I had a major anxiety attack in the street on the way home. Still, I managed to power through and get home to the safety of my room where I could lose it in privacy. I haven’t been back out since though. At least I know I’m capable of doing it. That’s something in my corner. I’ve got to keep pushing myself to get out there regardless of the anxiety.
On the writing – No headway there either. This blog entry is probably the longest thing I’ve written recently. Again, I just haven’t been in the mood to do it. Ironic when I consider that I often express myself through writing rather than spoken word. If I get double the amount done on the blanket today, I will make an effort to work on my story that’s still stuck at page fifteen. I’ve had it reviewed by someone with more experience in writing than I have and I’ve been told that it’s good. I apparently have the talent to write. I’m going to take that and run with it.
On the relationship front – I am enjoying the single life at the present. I’m enjoying flirting for flirting’s sake and not having the added responsibility of worrying about someone else’s emotional state beyond friendship or the drama brought up by someone else’s immaturity. It’s very freeing having flirty friends. 🙂
On the subject of Mental Health – I contacted the worst of the worse mental health centers and set up an appointment. This should keep me in therapy and medication checks for the foreseeable future. Thankfully, my old pdoc gave me a six month supply of medications so, unless they want to add to it or there’s some problem due to my switching providers, I don’t need anymore pills at the present time. I miss my old pdoc but moving on is a part of life. I accept that.