“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain”.
I have an appointment, in Baltimore City, in a few days. I’m going to have to go to it by myself. I’m not feeling very good right now. Not good at all. It’s an appointment I can’t miss or reschedule and it’s been months in the making.
Right now, I can feel a Tsunami of panic trying to get in but I’m just numb. Hopefully, this numb feeling will stay with me through to and beyond the time of my appointment. Oh well, it could be worse. It could be a really far appointment like Bethesda. I’ll get through this. I’ll have to.
Just for shits and giggles, I’m taking a project with me. Probably a hat as it’s the least tedious to transport and easiest to throw in my backpack. Hopefully, my needles won’t get confiscated. 144 stitches is a lot of work to put onto needles right.
My mind keeps coming back to that fear. I’m going to keep repeating the litany to myself to calm down.
Tonight, I’m going to work on projects. I’m hoping my hands stop shaking long enough for me to properly crochet. Maybe some music will help.
*sigh* This Agoraphobia sucks.
Some good news: I put Disqus commenting on my Tumblr. I wish that WordPress.com would allow Disqus commenting on their site. I love being able to continue discussions long after a story or event is over with. I also like keeping track of my comments.
Well, I’d better get to crocheting. Later.