Apparently, I am tanking mood wise. I don’t know what’s bringing it on but it isn’t fun to experience a sudden feeling of overwhelming woe and foreboding clutching at the pit of my very core.
This is happening pretty fast too. This abysmal feeling. I’m trying to use the CBT stuff I learned but to no avail. This emotional surge is just too thick. The only thing keeping me somewhat steady right now is my fingers tapping on this keyboard. What I really feel like doing is crying my eyes out for no apparent reason. It’s either that or retail therapy and, as an Impoverished American™, I am unable to participate in the latter due to some semblance of sanity remaining in my mind and a lack of finances in my pet bank accounts.
With every fiber of my being, I am trying to focus but it is proving difficult. I think I’ll ruin a few good stories I’ve been working on by tapping away at them in my altered state. That’s the more noble option in this mindset.
In other creative endeavors, Kathleen’s Cosmos doilies are almost complete. I will be working on the second batch of Cosmos doilies, in black, during the daylight hours only. I’m not as young as I once was when I could read tiny writing in a darkened room. Seeing black thread, without the benefit of an Ott-lite, in my dimly lit room, while trying to hook said thread with a 1.65mm hook is truly asking too much of me. So, in place of that, at night, I’ll work on Bruce’s black gloves. I can at least feel my way with those. Ha ha.
Ah, hell. Everything is distracting me now. I feel like my mind is being pulled in one thousand different directions at one time in multiple dimensions. I’m hoping that this will pass quickly. It’s just a Rapid Cycling event, I’m sure. It’s not a part of my bi-annual meteoric rise/crash and burn events. It’s too early for it to be that as those charming moments normally hit in May/June and October/November.
I’d better end this post here as my train of thought just went out the window. Instead of ruining my stories, I think I’ll absorb science videos on YouTube or something. Maybe my brain will make an inspired leap while in this altered state. Likely not. Still, it’s better than weeping in the corner.