Happy Birthday To Me

Hey, I’m almost thirty-five years old. Wow. Anyway, to the posting.

 

For some time now, I have been unable to sleep without a lot of effort. This has proved exhausting to my life and my schedule. So exhausting that, paradoxically, I have frequently gone days without adequate sleep. I’m not sure what has been causing this but I am hoping it will go away soon. My pdoc prescribed 50mg of diphenhydramine for this issue and…it didn’t work. There I was, in bed all night long, staring at the backs of my eyelids, wishing for some kind of intervention that would give me a good night’s rest.

 

I wasn’t worried about anything.

I wasn’t agitated.

I wasn’t upset.

I just couldn’t sleep for some reason.

 

My sleep issues had gotten to the point where they’d affected my writing abilities, my knitting and crocheting abilities, my physical health, my coordination and fine motor skills in cooking. Imagine being sleep deprived while trying to work with a sharp knife, a heated stovetop, or a boiling hot pot of water? Yeah, my lack of sleep was a detriment to myself and others after a while.

 

The one thing I could still do was screw up my vision to focus, barely. So, I read books: both eBooks and Treebooks in my possession until my brain didn’t want to take in more information. Once the overload was completed, I took my meds, went to bed and…after two and a half hours, fell asleep for two blocks of sleep totaling eight hours and forty seven minutes. Yay.

 

As of right now, I’m still more than a bit shaky but, as you can see, I am writing again. Hopefully, with more sleep and time to recover, I can work on those stories and crafting projects of mine. 

 

Speaking of books and media. I think it’s time for another cull. I’m taking out the books with dated information, gleaning what I can from them before sending them for recycling if possible. The movies, I’m going to view them once more (the unwanted) before donating them to charity or selling them. After all, I do have a challenge on Goodreads to read at least fifty books before the end of the year. This seems like a good way to do it.

 

On the Aerogarden front, the Aerogarden of Serendipity continues to amaze me.

 

2016-03-31 10.20.12

This is representative of thirty three days of growth. I have cut all visible plants back several times and they just keep on growing like they’re Kudzu or something. The Genovese Basil is particularly scary…I mean amazing as I cut it back to nothing more than a few leaf tips less than ten days prior and it grew back in record time. It is now overtaking the “Thai” Basil, pushing aside the Mint and shading the Cilantro. I had to raise the Light hood a bit to accommodate it.

 

I did have to get replacements for two pods. The Chives, well, to be honest Chive, died on me. The Cilantro never sprouted. So, I am now waiting for these replacements to grow. I hope they do. My room normally smells pretty good but, right now, it smells extra lovely. It’s very fragrant and smells of Basil, Mint, and Dill.

 

Due to my lack of coordination, I haven’t done much in the way of crocheting. I hope to change that in the next few days as my strength returns.

 

Thank you for reading. Have a great evening.

Face Value Dating

I don’t normally post about Polyamory topics because, it’s my private life and others do it far more eloquently than I ever could.

However, an agony aunt letter in the Love Letters section of Boston.com led me to write this.

In the letter, the petitioner for advice was bemoaning how a potential (in her mind) love interest wasn’t going along with her ideal fantasy of the way things should go. Namely, that he should drop everything and instantly do exactly as she wished with no thought or regard to his own condition, despite his being honest from the beginning about being non-monogamous. Yes, you’ve read this right. He came right out in the beginning and said he was non-monogamous. He must have thought highly of her initially before it all went Loony Toons.

My hat goes off to him for his unflinching honesty.

Anyway, back to the tale. Instead of accepting what he said at face value, she decides to, in her words, “call his bluff” and say that she’s “fine with Polyamory” when it comes up a second time. This is despite the fact that she’s apparently deeply monogamous and not even remotely interested in being Polyamorous.

 

*scratching head in a most confused manner*

Most of you can guess what’s coming. It eventually gets to the point where he texts her with his misgivings about her not being mature enough to understand his need for Polyamory. She then has the nerve to write in this letter that she has anxiety over this situation when she caused this whole drama fest by saying she was okay with his being Polyamorous in the first place. She’s saying she made concessions and asks of the advice giver when she she should stop making these imagined concessions and give up on the relationship.

1. You are a liar.

2. You are a manipulator.

3. You’ve brought this drama into your own life all by yourself by trying to change this guy.

That man was open, honest and completely upfront about himself from day one. With all due respect, you were not. You tried to change him and it blew up in your face. You need to accept that and move on. It’s not you that needs to get away from him, it’s him that needs to fly away from you. You are a drama llama. Nice talking.

And they call me crazy.

First Green Sproutings

This blog entry was simulcast on my GardenStew blog, Polycotyledon. Please check out GardenStew, it’s a really great community.

 

I looked in on the Aerogarden of Serendipity today and the Genovese Basil is sprouting up after only three days being “planted”. It’s actually beating out the Thai Basil, which was supposed to come up first. Regardless of which is first in sprouting, it’s lovely to see them. I love growing things.

In other news, I had an opportunity to show The Maternal Parental the future site of My Not So Secret Garden today. We were riding in a cab with a really rude and dismissive cab driver. When I explained my plans for the garden plot I’m hoping to get, to my mother, he was really negative about the whole plan.

My actual plans are to grow food for The Maternal Parental and I, with a portion going to my friend for helping us out so much, as well as another friend who may or mayn’t take up the offer due to his living so far from me. Any extra food will be given to those in need.

From both my own experience being impoverished and from watching Gardening programs that focus on community activism, I’m all too well aware that most food banks don’t have a ready supply of perishable, fresh fruits and vegetables. It’s mostly canned goods, boxed goods, and bagged goods.

While it certainly sustains, it’s not always the healthiest option out there when compared with fresh produce. Being honest, and I have written about this in the past on my blog, fresh produce is a nightmare to get ahold of when you’re on a limited budget. So, my plan was to give the extra to the food bank or, if they were unwilling/unable to take it, find a family in need to give it to free of charge.

Apparently, that was all too much for the allegedly charitable cab driver who scoffed at the notion and tried to poke holes in every aspect of my plan.

It’s like, dude, why are you so invested in tearing my idea down? I hardly know ye and your dedication to obstruction goes way beyond constructive criticism.

Anyway…tangent.

So, The Maternal Parental got a chance to see the site and loved it. Though, she is worried about my ability to get there due to the Agoraphobia issue. I feel much more confident about it though. Between my friend taking me there on a semi-regular to regular basis and the distance being relatively short from the nearest bus stop, I feel somewhat confident that I can make it there.

I just need to actually get my hands on the site first…

Obrigada Shawl Completed

2016-02-14 17.48.19

 

Now that the shawl is completed, all I need to do is save up the money to send it off to its new Human.

 

Here’s another picture of my view right now aside from this computer. Every last one of these tomatoes is green. Just my luck.

 

2016-02-19 21.36.43

 

In truth, I’m very exhausted right now but I cannot get to sleep due to so many people deciding to call, message, etc. either me or this house. I’m really REALLY hoping to catch up on my sleep tonight.

Incidentally, I’m looking to make some more friends on NaNoWriMo’s website. If you’re planning to participate this year and you’re interested in being friends, please feel free to add me. I’m “xantedeschia” on that site as well.

As much as it was difficult to do, I really enjoyed the creative process that came about during NaNoWriMo.

Pile It On and Watch Me Crunch

To say that this week has been stressful would be an understatement.

I am doing NaNoWriMo AKA National Novel Writing Month this month. I’m in the process of writing out a novel I’m calling Forsaken Paladins. I think I’m doing good at any rate. Also, friends who have read what I have thus far have given me positive reviews based on what they’ve read. So, that’s something. However, it is stressful having to complete this journey and go through life at the same time.

 

For the time being, I have put off doing all knitting and crocheting projects to enable me to focus on the task at hand, which is writing. I will not touch the yarn, hooks, and needles until 1 December 2015, no matter how bad it gets. Believe me, it’s bad right now but I’m keeping to this vow.

 

I almost wasn’t going to blog either but something happened that demands a venting. It’s a stressor on top of a stressful situation on top of an already stressed out situation.

 

I have recently, within the last day, found out that I’ve been knocked into a higher risk bracket for the possibility of colon cancer. So now, instead of at age fifty, I have to go get my colonoscopy at age 40. Crap, that’s less than six years from now. That’s stressor number one.

 

This warning klaxon was sounded when a first degree relative went for their colonoscopy and a large, golf ball sized polyp was found, removed, and sent for biopsy to determine malignancy or benignity. That’s stressor number two.

 

On top of this, my dear sweet asthma seems to be getting worse. The “bronchitis” I thought I was suffering from for more than six weeks turned out to be my asthmatic lungs showing off. They’ve never done it to this level before. I can’t take a deep breath without a deep, booming, life sucking, unproductive cough and, let me tell you, the coughing fits lost their magic weeks ago. That’s stressor number three.

 

All of this is kind of putting a cramp in my writing for NaNoWriMo 2015. I’ll be the first to admit it. Nevertheless, I am not giving up and I am not giving in. I made a promise to myself that I would write out fifty thousand or more words by 30 November and so I shall. As of right now, I’m at 13,166 words according to the NaNoWriMo site. I’ve got just 36,834 left to go to complete the threshold requirements though, personally, I think my story is going to go beyond the 50,000 word count.

 

I hope you’re all doing well. Please, take care.

Vampire Writing Hours

I’ve been so stressed out lately. I’m giving serious thought to inverting my schedule just so I can get some peace and quiet to write in. Apparently, it takes the passage of midnight for people to stop banging on the friggin’ front door or ringing the phone. Sometimes… *glare* …not even then will the noise stop.

 

The only writing I’ve gotten done is a story I’ve completed after nine years. It’s not for NaNoWriMo but it’s something I’ve been anxious about completing. I consider it done now at thirty-nine pages. Thanks to my friend, it has a title. I’ve put it up on a few sites, including my own InsaneJournal behind F-lock. I may put it up on another site a friend just told me about last night but, for that, I’ll have to go over it with a fine toothed comb for errors. I do that now but, as of now, it’s just me reading my writings. No Beta reader. I’ll just have to up my game of checking after myself. I did get positive feedback about it though. That’s something. Now, I just have to keep churning them out.

 

Finally have an appointment for the doctor to get this bronchitis checked out. I don’t have the strength or the patience to go to the offices with more open appointments available, so I’m waiting for the one in my area even though it’s got fewer available appointments and on a later date.

 

Speaking of appointments, I have an appointment to donate platelets in forty four days. This will be the first time I’ve been back in almost four years. Life and various tiny illnesses/injuries just kept getting in the way. Like this darn bronchitis. Hopefully, I’ll be in peak physical condition come my appointment time. I normally pull a high number too, whatever that means. I’ll remind myself to look up what that means. It’ll just be fun to be helping out again.

 

I’m also taking my buddy, Winky – the Blood Drop.

 

He’s a squeeze ball. I made him off of a pattern I found on Ravelry.

 

I’m getting sleepy now. So, I’m going to take a nap, so I can wake up at 1am my time to write. Later!

Busy Busy Bee

I have been quite busy lately. In addition to watching ALL THE MOVIES, I have been either harvesting fruit or watching flowers growing on my various plants. I’ve also been gearing up for NaNoWriMo and last but not least, I’ve been knitting and crocheting on projects.

 

First up are my socks that I call Rainstorm II. I’ve been technically working on these things since February. I hope to have them completed before the end of the week.

 

Next comes the Healing Hobbes Doll I’ve made for my cousin. The pattern for this doll may be found via a link on its Ravelry page. I switched it up a bit and used 12mm Darice plastic eyes instead of sewing on felt.

 

I haven’t been working on the Caregiver’s Cardigan like I should. Hopefully, once I’m finished with other projects, I can focus on it when I’m not writing.

 

Another pattern that has attracted my interest is the Keepsake Lace Shawl. I started making this one back in April but I messed up somewhere along the way and have to frog it before restarting. I’m doing this shawl in Bernat’s Handicrafter’s Crochet Thread in the colorway Orchid, which is kind of a dark purple.

 

I have also finally managed to get the pelargoniums to bloom. The flowers are coming in day by day, little by little. I’m really hoping for a red flower. The one coming in below looks to be a salmon color.

 

Plus, in the realm of resurrected from the pit of Doom, I give you the Little Boy Blue Blanket. For reasons I won’t go into, I’m going to be working on this one to completion.

 

Hopefully, I’ll get all of this completed by December and I’ll be able to relax and work on…the In Love With Color Throw.

 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do, horrid movies to watch, and tea to drink. Later.