Ice Queen 101– Lessons in Cold

Perhaps this is a cold thing to do but I no longer have enough emotionally invested to care.

 

fishermanswoolhatiii-complete

 

Prior to this year, I’ve been willing, nay, eager to gift things I’ve knitted or crocheted to people I considered friends and significant others gratis. I haven’t asked anything of them other than that they give me a place to send said gift once it is finished. Despite repeatedly putting my divestment of said items on hold by swearing they were coming for it themselves, in person, almost no one showed up. When I asked for an address/PO Box to send this growing accumulation of items, save for a few, all I got were the sound of crickets.

 

fishermanswoolhatcomplete

 

Now, I have put people on hold who were willing to pay for said items or who needed items more. I did it out of love and concern for the people I thought were my friends. Well, 2017 is a new year. I have been slowly giving away the items I’ve made. Just today, I gave away two very nicely made Fisherman’s wool hats and a Fisherman’s wool scarf I made for someone in April 2013. Yes, you read that right. I made it in 2013 and despite several attempts on my part to get it shipped out, with the response being to hold it until an obscure future date of visitation arrives, no one has come to get it or given me an address or PO Box to send it to.

 

fishermanswoolscarfiii-23rows_medium2

 

So, it is gone. I just gave it all away today. I’m sick of living with the virtual clutter of a failed relationship’s pieces in the form of completed works overflowing my finished projects box. This is my tangible effort at moving on.

 

For this year, as far as Knitting and Crocheting are concerned, I’m going to focus on charities, select friends/family, and myself.

Moving On

Ended a seventeen year long toxic friendship with my ex-boyfriend. Yay!

Helping The Maternal Parental quit smoking again. Double Yay!

Letting go of associated negativity from these subjects. Treble Yay! Squee!

 

Instead, I am going to focus on the positives in my life. I have multiple wonderful friends and family. I have varied wonderful talents. I have a wave of green plants growing in my room right now that will, hopefully, grow to full maturity and provide me with a bounty of fruit and herbs. I’m well medicated and fed. I have food, clothing, shelter, etc. I’m Literate in at least one language with the capacity to learn more.

 

In short, life is pretty good.

Face Value Dating

I don’t normally post about Polyamory topics because, it’s my private life and others do it far more eloquently than I ever could.

However, an agony aunt letter in the Love Letters section of Boston.com led me to write this.

In the letter, the petitioner for advice was bemoaning how a potential (in her mind) love interest wasn’t going along with her ideal fantasy of the way things should go. Namely, that he should drop everything and instantly do exactly as she wished with no thought or regard to his own condition, despite his being honest from the beginning about being non-monogamous. Yes, you’ve read this right. He came right out in the beginning and said he was non-monogamous. He must have thought highly of her initially before it all went Loony Toons.

My hat goes off to him for his unflinching honesty.

Anyway, back to the tale. Instead of accepting what he said at face value, she decides to, in her words, “call his bluff” and say that she’s “fine with Polyamory” when it comes up a second time. This is despite the fact that she’s apparently deeply monogamous and not even remotely interested in being Polyamorous.

 

*scratching head in a most confused manner*

Most of you can guess what’s coming. It eventually gets to the point where he texts her with his misgivings about her not being mature enough to understand his need for Polyamory. She then has the nerve to write in this letter that she has anxiety over this situation when she caused this whole drama fest by saying she was okay with his being Polyamorous in the first place. She’s saying she made concessions and asks of the advice giver when she she should stop making these imagined concessions and give up on the relationship.

1. You are a liar.

2. You are a manipulator.

3. You’ve brought this drama into your own life all by yourself by trying to change this guy.

That man was open, honest and completely upfront about himself from day one. With all due respect, you were not. You tried to change him and it blew up in your face. You need to accept that and move on. It’s not you that needs to get away from him, it’s him that needs to fly away from you. You are a drama llama. Nice talking.

And they call me crazy.

First Green Sproutings

This blog entry was simulcast on my GardenStew blog, Polycotyledon. Please check out GardenStew, it’s a really great community.

 

I looked in on the Aerogarden of Serendipity today and the Genovese Basil is sprouting up after only three days being “planted”. It’s actually beating out the Thai Basil, which was supposed to come up first. Regardless of which is first in sprouting, it’s lovely to see them. I love growing things.

In other news, I had an opportunity to show The Maternal Parental the future site of My Not So Secret Garden today. We were riding in a cab with a really rude and dismissive cab driver. When I explained my plans for the garden plot I’m hoping to get, to my mother, he was really negative about the whole plan.

My actual plans are to grow food for The Maternal Parental and I, with a portion going to my friend for helping us out so much, as well as another friend who may or mayn’t take up the offer due to his living so far from me. Any extra food will be given to those in need.

From both my own experience being impoverished and from watching Gardening programs that focus on community activism, I’m all too well aware that most food banks don’t have a ready supply of perishable, fresh fruits and vegetables. It’s mostly canned goods, boxed goods, and bagged goods.

While it certainly sustains, it’s not always the healthiest option out there when compared with fresh produce. Being honest, and I have written about this in the past on my blog, fresh produce is a nightmare to get ahold of when you’re on a limited budget. So, my plan was to give the extra to the food bank or, if they were unwilling/unable to take it, find a family in need to give it to free of charge.

Apparently, that was all too much for the allegedly charitable cab driver who scoffed at the notion and tried to poke holes in every aspect of my plan.

It’s like, dude, why are you so invested in tearing my idea down? I hardly know ye and your dedication to obstruction goes way beyond constructive criticism.

Anyway…tangent.

So, The Maternal Parental got a chance to see the site and loved it. Though, she is worried about my ability to get there due to the Agoraphobia issue. I feel much more confident about it though. Between my friend taking me there on a semi-regular to regular basis and the distance being relatively short from the nearest bus stop, I feel somewhat confident that I can make it there.

I just need to actually get my hands on the site first…

Obrigada Shawl Completed

2016-02-14 17.48.19

 

Now that the shawl is completed, all I need to do is save up the money to send it off to its new Human.

 

Here’s another picture of my view right now aside from this computer. Every last one of these tomatoes is green. Just my luck.

 

2016-02-19 21.36.43

 

In truth, I’m very exhausted right now but I cannot get to sleep due to so many people deciding to call, message, etc. either me or this house. I’m really REALLY hoping to catch up on my sleep tonight.

Incidentally, I’m looking to make some more friends on NaNoWriMo’s website. If you’re planning to participate this year and you’re interested in being friends, please feel free to add me. I’m “xantedeschia” on that site as well.

As much as it was difficult to do, I really enjoyed the creative process that came about during NaNoWriMo.

Pile It On and Watch Me Crunch

To say that this week has been stressful would be an understatement.

I am doing NaNoWriMo AKA National Novel Writing Month this month. I’m in the process of writing out a novel I’m calling Forsaken Paladins. I think I’m doing good at any rate. Also, friends who have read what I have thus far have given me positive reviews based on what they’ve read. So, that’s something. However, it is stressful having to complete this journey and go through life at the same time.

 

For the time being, I have put off doing all knitting and crocheting projects to enable me to focus on the task at hand, which is writing. I will not touch the yarn, hooks, and needles until 1 December 2015, no matter how bad it gets. Believe me, it’s bad right now but I’m keeping to this vow.

 

I almost wasn’t going to blog either but something happened that demands a venting. It’s a stressor on top of a stressful situation on top of an already stressed out situation.

 

I have recently, within the last day, found out that I’ve been knocked into a higher risk bracket for the possibility of colon cancer. So now, instead of at age fifty, I have to go get my colonoscopy at age 40. Crap, that’s less than six years from now. That’s stressor number one.

 

This warning klaxon was sounded when a first degree relative went for their colonoscopy and a large, golf ball sized polyp was found, removed, and sent for biopsy to determine malignancy or benignity. That’s stressor number two.

 

On top of this, my dear sweet asthma seems to be getting worse. The “bronchitis” I thought I was suffering from for more than six weeks turned out to be my asthmatic lungs showing off. They’ve never done it to this level before. I can’t take a deep breath without a deep, booming, life sucking, unproductive cough and, let me tell you, the coughing fits lost their magic weeks ago. That’s stressor number three.

 

All of this is kind of putting a cramp in my writing for NaNoWriMo 2015. I’ll be the first to admit it. Nevertheless, I am not giving up and I am not giving in. I made a promise to myself that I would write out fifty thousand or more words by 30 November and so I shall. As of right now, I’m at 13,166 words according to the NaNoWriMo site. I’ve got just 36,834 left to go to complete the threshold requirements though, personally, I think my story is going to go beyond the 50,000 word count.

 

I hope you’re all doing well. Please, take care.

Drunken Giraffes

Over the past week and a half, I’ve really been sleeping heavily. I don’t know what’s causing it but, at times, I get up only to go back to bed. Not cool. One day, I slept more than sixteen hours. 😯😣😴:'(

There’s no known cause for this. I go to bed at a regular reasonable time and I sleep most of the night.

I really don’t like these sleeping patterns as they interfere with other things I want to do during the day.

Tonight, I’m trying a different approach. I’m going to see if I can reboot my sleep cycle by staying up all night. It is my hope that, through this effort, I will regain some semblance of my former regular schedule.

Onward and upward.

The latest picture of the Equality Salsa Garden of Hope.

My babies have flowers and the tomatoes have had their first pruning. All that remains is watching them grow, bloom, set fruit and harvesting tomatoes and jalapeño peppers.

I’m a bit worried for my friend. If you’re reading this, know that you’re on the minds and in the hearts of people here in the Casa de KaliTime.

Well, time for me to read my book. Right now, I’m listening to Marilyn Manson’s Mechanical Animals album and I fully intend to read Ellis Peters’ The Virgin in the Ice. Interesting mix.

Well, good night, Everyone! 😆💚🌈