Ice Queen 101– Lessons in Cold

Perhaps this is a cold thing to do but I no longer have enough emotionally invested to care.

 

fishermanswoolhatiii-complete

 

Prior to this year, I’ve been willing, nay, eager to gift things I’ve knitted or crocheted to people I considered friends and significant others gratis. I haven’t asked anything of them other than that they give me a place to send said gift once it is finished. Despite repeatedly putting my divestment of said items on hold by swearing they were coming for it themselves, in person, almost no one showed up. When I asked for an address/PO Box to send this growing accumulation of items, save for a few, all I got were the sound of crickets.

 

fishermanswoolhatcomplete

 

Now, I have put people on hold who were willing to pay for said items or who needed items more. I did it out of love and concern for the people I thought were my friends. Well, 2017 is a new year. I have been slowly giving away the items I’ve made. Just today, I gave away two very nicely made Fisherman’s wool hats and a Fisherman’s wool scarf I made for someone in April 2013. Yes, you read that right. I made it in 2013 and despite several attempts on my part to get it shipped out, with the response being to hold it until an obscure future date of visitation arrives, no one has come to get it or given me an address or PO Box to send it to.

 

fishermanswoolscarfiii-23rows_medium2

 

So, it is gone. I just gave it all away today. I’m sick of living with the virtual clutter of a failed relationship’s pieces in the form of completed works overflowing my finished projects box. This is my tangible effort at moving on.

 

For this year, as far as Knitting and Crocheting are concerned, I’m going to focus on charities, select friends/family, and myself.

Infinite Potential

Right now, I think I know what it feels like to be an un-sprouted seed, on the cusp of bursting forth into the cacophonic din of Life’s heady mix. I’m feeling that way and I’m not quite sure why. I’m long past the age of getting pangs of idealistic wanderlust. Yet, suddenly, I want to travel about, see all the things and do all the adventures. Ugh, is there a pill for this? Only kidding. Only just.

 

More realistically, I want to travel with my mind and write all the things. I am attempting to melt this Antarctic sized Writer’s Block I’ve got wedged in my brain but to no avail. In fact, the mere presence of it has crept over into my knitting and crocheting. Oh yes, I have Yarnblock or Fiberblock. Is there such a thing? The mere thought of my large scale projects gets me exhausted. So, I am looking forward to a small scale commission from my friend, Valerie. She wishes for me to make her Monster Slippers and I shall oblige, for her, free of charge. Something small, bright, fun and colorful could be just the thing to knock this creative blockage out of me.

 

If there’s one thing I’ve been doing well, it has been escapism. I’ve been re-watching Torchwood – Children of Earth for the umpteenth time. No spoilers here. All I will say is that it is a fantastic series and well worth watching.

 

No news about My Not So Secret Garden yet. The container garden and Aerogarden are doing lovely but I haven’t heard word one from the liaison for the community gardens since we talked a few months ago. I’m on the list. However long it takes, I’m willing to wait.

 

My Peppers sprouted today actually. I’m sitting on the fence about putting them under the Aerogarden’s light hood. Due to the Omega block weather patterning, we haven’t gotten much sun lately, so, if it’s cloudy tomorrow, I’m going to risk it and put the peppers as close as I dare to the hydroponically grown plants.

 

That’s about it until something interesting or exciting (or both) happens. Really missing Lotta right now.

 

Later!

Obrigada Shawl Completed

2016-02-14 17.48.19

 

Now that the shawl is completed, all I need to do is save up the money to send it off to its new Human.

 

Here’s another picture of my view right now aside from this computer. Every last one of these tomatoes is green. Just my luck.

 

2016-02-19 21.36.43

 

In truth, I’m very exhausted right now but I cannot get to sleep due to so many people deciding to call, message, etc. either me or this house. I’m really REALLY hoping to catch up on my sleep tonight.

Incidentally, I’m looking to make some more friends on NaNoWriMo’s website. If you’re planning to participate this year and you’re interested in being friends, please feel free to add me. I’m “xantedeschia” on that site as well.

As much as it was difficult to do, I really enjoyed the creative process that came about during NaNoWriMo.

It’s Getting Real Rather Quickly

I had quite forgotten I’d finished a significantly long (for me) story at around this time of year in 2013. Thank you, Facebook’s On This Day, for reminding me. I’m going to take that as a positive indicator that I can do NaNoWriMo and stop panicking.

 

Also, new vlog coming up soon-ish. I got a 128gb card for my phone which freed up my 64gb card (999 minutes) for my camcorder rather than the 2gb (30 minutes) card I was using. Now, it’s only battery life holding me up and my camcorder can film while plugged in so…it’s just a question of finding a good angle to position the camera or cord with length to make that possible.

 

Yesterday was the twenty-seventh anniversary of the death of one of my greatest friends. She died in a fire in 1988 ten days shy of her eighth birthday. For the first time since then, I haven’t gotten hyper morbid or super depressed. I suppose that’s progress? When I finish this novel, I’ll see about dedicating it to her memory.

 

Come 15 October, I’m not going to be online as much as I normally am as I’m fully dedicated to completing this novel. I’ll try to check in from time to time though and I’ll definitely be back after 30 November hopefully with a completed book under my proverbial belt.

 

The Rainstorm II socks are a little over half complete now. I should have them done just in time for my semi-hiatus. I sincerely hope, because everything except dear ones, eating, bathing, and other necessities is getting put on hold starting 15 October.

 

 

Anyone got any good writing music recommendations to keep me motivated during this?

 

Oh yes, I’m getting a newer, better desk on Wednesday. Finally! Yay!

 

I’m lugging 124lbs of material up my stairs by myself tomorrow before doing a two person effort by my lonesome. I reckon I’m good for it though as I’ve previously put together the television stand mostly by myself and two bookcases completely by myself and they’re all by the same manufacturer, South Shore.

 

I think that’s everything. I wish you all the best during this month and a half of minimal communication. Now I go to knit. Later!

Upcoming Stuff

It’s my birthday!!! It’s my birthday!!! It’s my birthday… *dancing*

 

My birthday is coming up, within the next two weeks. I’ll be 34 years old. Yes, ancient. Kidding. Birthday cake

 

I’m hoping to drop a few “Shocking!!!” things this year. I’m not going to say what they are until they come to fruition. There’s a nice vague mystery for you all to ponder. Rolling on the floor laughing

 

Nothing much else is happening in my life right now. I am working on a few crafting projects, Billy the Bear, the Rainstorm II socks and Bruce’s gloves (sporadically).

 

I am almost completed Billy The Bear. He’s for the Paternal Parental. I should have him completed by tonight but here’s a picture of him from earlier today.

 

Yes, that is my messy cluttered desk the bear is sitting on. This pattern is from Lion Brand Yarns and is one I’ve done previously. I made a bear for the Maternal Parental, only for hers, I used a G hook. This time, I used an H hook and got a bigger bear for my bargain. The name of the pattern is Buddy Bear and the pattern number on Lion Brand is 80359.

 

Once I get the above pattern completed, I’ll probably go back to the Rainstorm II socks.

 

This pattern is a dream to work. It’s called the Misti Sock Family and it’s the largest Men’s size I’m using because I happen to be a Hobbit. Kidding. My feet are large though. I wear a 9.5US Men’s shoe. This is the fifth time I’ve used this pattern to make socks to completion. I did make an attempt to do four at a time but got sidetracked by other projects and frogged them. I am currently 45% completed with this project. Yay!

 

The only other thing I have on my plate at this time is this mystery blogging project from WordPress. Starting tomorrow, I will perform the tasks as I receive them in my e-mail. I have no clue what it’s going to be about. I just know that I am going to complete it all. I’m determined to do it. I spend quite a bit of time either excoriating myself or outright running away from potential writing projects as they come up due to fear. Fear of judgment and fear of success. I have a big issue with self-esteem when it comes to writing. 2015 is the year this changes for the better. Sun

 

Who knows? Maybe this new attitude will lead to my finally doing NaNoWriMo.

 

Tonight’s agenda is: watching The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers with the Maternal Parental. Filmstrip

 

Have a fantastic day, Peoples of the Sun. Rolling on the floor laughingRed heartRainbow

Changing My Programming

Last night, I spent the better part of the night writing out my gloriously wonderful and supportive childhood. *ironic laughter*

 

Okay, that’s enough, I don’t want to tempt universal fate and have lightning to strike me or something. Lightning

 

Actually, I spent that time writing out part of my life’s story. Yes, it’s a tragic tale of woe and no, I don’t talk about it too often outside of a therapy session. You see, I am writing a letter. A very special letter. A letter which may well change the course of my life depending on the reply I get from the recipient. It is important that I disclose everything about my life to this person, so they may better understand my idiosyncrasies and, hopefully, be willing to move forward together in friendship and love. Awww…Red heart

 

If this person is not as serious as they claim to be, this letter will serve to warn them off before we’re irrevocably tied together. So, I have a lot riding on this letter. As odd as it may seem, I’m not nervous, despite so much weight being put on my mind due to this situation. Strangely, my mind is at peace with the whole situation. Either we’ll move forward together or we won’t move together at all. Those are the two big choices. Everything else is small potatoes. Fingers crossed

 

In another situation, I have been writing again recently. I’ve taken to posting it to Facebook, usually with a warning of impending doom at reading my works. This is another situation where my early programming comes in.

 

Throughout my childhood, until I was a legal adult, I was frequently derided for my writing skills. It didn’t help matters that I wasn’t fully literate until third grade. Yet, to have multiple adults constantly barraging my young mind with the same negative programming wasn’t good, in my opinion. It only served to push me into self-deprecation in all my work due to expecting derision from others. Rather than suffer the arrows of others, I tend to commit social seppuku whenever I can. Especially when it’s something related to my creative endeavors.

 

I was recently admonished by a friend not to do this. She’s right. I shouldn’t do this. I may not have formal literary training but I do have good stories. They stand up well, despite the flaws in grammar and punctuation. I just need to remember that writing is a marathon of creativity, not a sprint. The fun is in the process of uncovering the stories in our minds.

 

So, from here on, I’m going to post my words without derisive commentary.

 

Okay, now it’s almost Lunch time. Bowl

 

Later, Earthlings! Rolling on the floor laughingRed heartRainbow

Petrified Progress

I am making significant progress on both the Rainstorm II socks and Bruce’s Gloves.

 

 

Why is the progress petrified? Well may you ask, Weary Internet Traveler. You see, I just posted the first part of a story I’ve been working on since 2008 to Facebook for everyone to see. Cringe worthy, right? YES. Yes, it is.

 

In order to prevent myself from immediately tearing it down from my wall, I’ve temporarily banned myself from using Facebook until this gnawing feeling of doom subsides from my stomach. So, instead, I will be knitting on Rainstorm II while listening to music.

 

Not much else is happening. Kathleen got her doilies and loved them. I’m overjoyed that she thought highly of them.

 

My plants are growing like weeds and I just planted Mesclun greens, which I hope will grow.

 

Oh yeah, speaking of growing things and thanks to John Kohler’s video on it, I am working on getting an Aerogarden. If all goes to plan, I should have it set up on Bookcase Two within two month’s time. There’s more room behind Bookcase Two than Bookcase One for cord space and adjustment of the overhead light. Plus, it’s away from all forms of light in the dark corner of my room. I can more effectively monitor the growth rate of the plants without worrying about them getting too much light or drying out because of the heat of the sun.

 

If all doesn’t go according to plan, then I’ll have to acquire another Rolling Stand or something to put it on.

 

I’ll also be getting my first mushroom kit later this year. This is going to be quite a growing year for me. Yay!

 

Later, Earthlings! Rolling on the floor laughingRed heartRainbow