Face Value Dating

I don’t normally post about Polyamory topics because, it’s my private life and others do it far more eloquently than I ever could.

However, an agony aunt letter in the Love Letters section of Boston.com led me to write this.

In the letter, the petitioner for advice was bemoaning how a potential (in her mind) love interest wasn’t going along with her ideal fantasy of the way things should go. Namely, that he should drop everything and instantly do exactly as she wished with no thought or regard to his own condition, despite his being honest from the beginning about being non-monogamous. Yes, you’ve read this right. He came right out in the beginning and said he was non-monogamous. He must have thought highly of her initially before it all went Loony Toons.

My hat goes off to him for his unflinching honesty.

Anyway, back to the tale. Instead of accepting what he said at face value, she decides to, in her words, “call his bluff” and say that she’s “fine with Polyamory” when it comes up a second time. This is despite the fact that she’s apparently deeply monogamous and not even remotely interested in being Polyamorous.

 

*scratching head in a most confused manner*

Most of you can guess what’s coming. It eventually gets to the point where he texts her with his misgivings about her not being mature enough to understand his need for Polyamory. She then has the nerve to write in this letter that she has anxiety over this situation when she caused this whole drama fest by saying she was okay with his being Polyamorous in the first place. She’s saying she made concessions and asks of the advice giver when she she should stop making these imagined concessions and give up on the relationship.

1. You are a liar.

2. You are a manipulator.

3. You’ve brought this drama into your own life all by yourself by trying to change this guy.

That man was open, honest and completely upfront about himself from day one. With all due respect, you were not. You tried to change him and it blew up in your face. You need to accept that and move on. It’s not you that needs to get away from him, it’s him that needs to fly away from you. You are a drama llama. Nice talking.

And they call me crazy.

The Best of Intentions

I am planning on making a toy for my friend’s kid. She likes Hippos and I’ve found what seemed to be the perfect pattern. It’s not cartoonish or outlandish. It actually looks like a Hippopotamus. Just one problem. This pattern is written very strangely. No matter how I crochet it, I keep getting the wrong counts. It’s got to be me though because others have breezed through this thing with no problems. So, unless I ask them for help, I am left frustrated by this toy pattern. I would just make her a bear but she really REALLY likes Hippos.

 

In other news, I am ridiculously happy lately. No, it’s nothing to do with the change in weather (I’m more a Winter fan) or the Bipolar Disorder (I’m medication compliant and stable). I am happy because I’ve been talking, daily, to a guy I met on OKCupid. I still haven’t figured out a good code name to give him for this blog yet but know that he is deeply cared about by this Netizen. This doesn’t take one iota of care away from my feelings for the Handsome Man or anyone else. It’s just expanded my heart’s capacity to cherish relationships. I’ve been catching myself smiling lately and have just been so happy. Quite a heady experience.

 

The Aerogarden of Hope, as I have been calling it, finally has a 100% germination rate. I peeked in on the Curly Parsley this morning and found a little seedling looking back at me. So, I’m very happy. Coincidentally, this is the new vlog. It was filmed prior to the appearance of the Curly Parsley.

 

The water changing/add nutrients day is two days away. I’m looking forward to finally using my siphon for something practical. I promised the Maternal Parental I’d show her how the siphon is used. It still floors me that she doesn’t know what a siphon is. I may look a video up on YouTube so she doesn’t think it Black Magic and run away from the process.

 

Shockingly, this is the second thing I’ve written today and the fifth thing this week. I think the Writer’s Block may finally be melting. I hope the dam bursts on it soon. I have a backlog of writing prompts and a story to work on.

 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to try to make use of the remaining daylight by making an attempt on this black doily.

 

Have a fantastic day! Rolling on the floor laughingRed heartRainbow

Random Mayflies

Hello Everyone!

 

It has been some time since I last posted. Mostly, I was just navigating some heady NRE for one of my upcoming dates. Hopefully, all the phone talking and e-mail writing will be matched by good in person chemistry. I hope so, I like this person as much as The Bloke. So much so, I might need to give him a codename for this blog and vlog.

 

The other date makes my belly do somersaults. This person is very intense and usually leaves me feeling giddy. We lost contact and recently reconnected, so we’re going out as well to see where we stand with each other.

 

Not much else has been happening. Just taking care of the household and avoiding crafting. I have been vlogging though and, in particular, my latest vlog speaks volumes as to where my head is right at this moment.

 

I, KaliTime Camaralzman, have finally gotten my Aerogarden. I scraped the bottom of my pet bank accounts and caught a good reduced price offering but I finally got it. Party smile

I am currently growing my own herbs. I am growing the Gourmet Herbs seed pod kit that came with the Aerogarden Ultra LED I bought. The seeds included are two types of Basil (Thai and Genovese), Cilantro, Chives, Curly Leafed Parsley, Dill and Mint. So far, two of the seedlings (the Basils) are coming up already and I am only two days into growing them. That’s fast. It’s usually at least twice that amount of time for Basil Seedlings to come up. I’m so happy right now. I’m really hoping that they’ll all grow to their full potentials.

 

I was so nervous about getting this thing in one piece via the delivery driver that I neglected to post two vlogs to this blog. Consider this rectified today. Due to YouTube’s API being too snooty for my remote poster, I’ll be posting links today.

 

The first is my longest vlog to date. Almost half an hour of time. In it, I read Ray Bradbury’s The Screaming Woman.

 

The second is me waxing ecstatic about my new Aerogarden Ultra LED.

 

It has also been some time since I hit upon my Goodreads account. I left Girl With The Dragon Tattoo about a little over midway through it a few weeks ago. I might finish it tonight if I don’t talk with anyone.

 

First thing’s first though. I need to get to these projects. I haven’t touched that the Cosmos Madness Doilies since 28 April. Even after I promised myself I would let no external events influence my crafting unless they were dire. While the Baltimore situation was bad, it wasn’t personally dire for me as I live quite a distance away from the center of action. So, I’m looking at the doily right now. One is getting finished today and the other tomorrow afternoon. It’s that small of a project that I should be able to complete both in that timeframe.

 

I also still have a moderate case of Writer’s Block keeping me from writing more on Melusine, John and Melanie. I’m going to bust through that and all the backlogged writing assignments this week.

 

My soil babies are doing very well too. I’ve restricted their water/fertilizer access from three times a week to once a week as needed with no fertilizer. I’m going for flowers! The only plant getting full on fertilizer at this point is the Lemongrass as it’s a heavy feeder. All the others are getting plain water as needed.

 

I’ve also, after much delay, potted the pineapple babies. They’re the Three Musketeers of my plant babies. Each day, I spritz them with a bit of water on their leaves. So far, they’re looking fantastic. I have high hopes that they’ll survive and thrive.

 

Well, that’s about it for today. Hopefully, I’ll have something outstanding and exciting for you all tomorrow and every day after that. Later! Rolling on the floor laughingRed heartRainbow

New Day, New Cake of Yarn

And then there were four. I’m currently working on the second of five cakes of yarn in the making of the October Rust Birthday Shawl. Things are going quite smoothly and I’m attaching with no issues. I might take a picture once I’m a little further along in the crocheting but not now. Even though it is eventually going to be rather large, I consider this the portable project. This is the project I’ll take with me to Doctor’s appointments to work on. It’s easier to work with due to only having one cake of yarn attached rather than more than one like the Rainstorm II socks. I will get back to them…eventually, but right now, I’m enjoying crocheting.

 

In other news, I joined another social network. Unlike ones I’ve joined in the past, this one looks promising. It’s a social network for people who are non-monogamous as well as allies. It’s called openlove.community and this is my profile on the site. I have to say, I’m really looking forward to seeing how this one develops. If you add me, please, let me know where you’re coming from.

 

Last night, I did Day Six of the Writing Assignment. It was pretty cool. We were asked to write about the most interesting people or person we’ve met within the past year. I chose characters from the story I’m writing. I tried to get as in depth as I could about them considering I haven’t come close to finishing the story. This story I’m writing is about the formation of a Poly family from the perspective of a young mother who is involved in the relationship.

 

At least, that’s what I’m trying for. I do give glimpses into other people’s train of thought during the formation of the story. Currently, this story doesn’t even have more than a working title. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. It does flow rather well and my friends who’ve read it have all said that they like it. I did make a commitment to work on it for a minimum of one hour per day. I’m hoping to get the whole thing completed before September, so I can gear up for NaNoWriMo.

 

It’s 69F out today. Ugh, how disgusting. I miss the Winter even as I know that plants need the warmth to grow and produce the foods I like to eat. I don’t know how much more my allergies can take though. I’ve been coughing and sneezing up a storm since it warmed up. Crying face

 

That’s enough rambling for me. Growing a Greener World is on television.

 

Take care, Peoples of the Sun! Rolling on the floor laughingRed heartRainbow

The Most Interesting People

I just got today’s prompt in the e-mail. Apparently, I am meant to write, in detail, about the most interesting people I’ve met this year. As this is only April, I find this a bit of a challenge but I’ll give it a go.

 

I would have to say that the most interesting people I’ve met this year would be three characters from my story. Their names are John Grunwald, Melanie “Mel” Grunwald and Melusine “Lucy” Gordon. You see, I first began writing this story back on 23 August 2008 but I didn’t really work on it until this year. These last few months alone, I have fleshed the main characters out significantly, to the point where I feel as though I’m finally getting to know them as people. I didn’t have that feeling before.

 

Let’s start with Melusine as she is the protagonist of the story. It’s her life we’re following.

 

Melusine Gordon is a twenty-five year old Black woman from Norfolk, Virginia who works as a Home Health Aide in the home of the Grunwalds. At the beginning of my story, she is four month’s pregnant with a child unwanted by the father. She is also viciously rejected by her own family who look down their noses at her for getting pregnant out of wedlock, though they never had much regard for her to begin with. After much consternation concerning the level of support she’d get from the biological father of the baby, Melusine takes a job further north in Maryland to support herself and her growing family after a confrontation involving the father goes south.

 

Melusine is a very dedicated worker and, on finding a good job with the Grunwalds, throws herself into it head first even in her condition. This earns her the respect, admiration and growing love of both of the Grunwalds.  Melusine longs to learn how to do the crafts she’s read about in the libraries in Norfolk and in Randallstown. Her main goal, after being a good parent, is to, eventually, learn to knit and crochet.

 

Onward to John Grunwald.

 

John Grunwald is a White man from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, a chef by trade and is, at the time of my story, thirty-two years old. He is an orphan, having lost both his parents in a tragic car accident when he was a baby. After that, he was raised in an orphanage where he was nicknamed “Annie” for his flaming red hair. He is steadfastly dedicated to his wife Melanie and, later in my story, also dedicated to Melusine equally so. He comes to think of her child as his own and acts accordingly by supporting her where the biological father didn’t. In the beginning of my story, he is keeping a dedicated vigil for his wife, Melanie, who suffers from Liver Cancer.

 

He is also a dedicated worker, enjoys cooking all kinds of food, making jokes, making up nicknames for people and passionately living life to the fullest with those he loves at his side.

 

Last but not least, Melanie Grunwald.

 

Doctor Melanie Grunwald is a White woman from Randallstown, Maryland and thirty-seven years old. She comes from a very well to do family but lost all contact with them once she met and married John Grunwald ten years prior. They didn’t approve of the then twenty-two year old chef’s prospects and forbade her seeing him again if she wanted support for her education and lifestyle. Melanie chose love over money and was greatly rewarded for her choice when John landed a successful position at a popular restaurant and was thus able to cover her schooling expenses. Initially, they were going to try for children when she’d finished with Medical School but she’d been diagnosed with Cancer by that point and neither wanted to risk either her life or any potential baby’s life. The baby Melusine Gordon gives birth to is named after her. She instantly takes to the little girl and considers the baby her own.

 

She is a workaholic and prefers helping others to being helped herself. She is trained as a general health practitioner in adult medicine. Prior to her diagnosis of Liver Cancer and subsequent illness, she worked for the RICE medical center a few blocks from the Grunwald home. Melanie enjoys board games, especially Chess.

 

This story in particular is the most complete Polyamorous story I’ve written thus far. Right now, I have twenty-eight pages worth of writing down that looks good and I’m working on it daily. It’s my hope to eventually add this to a book of stories or even develop it into a larger story for a book. This story is reflective of my life, in that I am Polyamorous and a workaholic, but that’s about it. Most of this other stuff hasn’t happened to me.