Face Value Dating

I don’t normally post about Polyamory topics because, it’s my private life and others do it far more eloquently than I ever could.

However, an agony aunt letter in the Love Letters section of Boston.com led me to write this.

In the letter, the petitioner for advice was bemoaning how a potential (in her mind) love interest wasn’t going along with her ideal fantasy of the way things should go. Namely, that he should drop everything and instantly do exactly as she wished with no thought or regard to his own condition, despite his being honest from the beginning about being non-monogamous. Yes, you’ve read this right. He came right out in the beginning and said he was non-monogamous. He must have thought highly of her initially before it all went Loony Toons.

My hat goes off to him for his unflinching honesty.

Anyway, back to the tale. Instead of accepting what he said at face value, she decides to, in her words, “call his bluff” and say that she’s “fine with Polyamory” when it comes up a second time. This is despite the fact that she’s apparently deeply monogamous and not even remotely interested in being Polyamorous.

 

*scratching head in a most confused manner*

Most of you can guess what’s coming. It eventually gets to the point where he texts her with his misgivings about her not being mature enough to understand his need for Polyamory. She then has the nerve to write in this letter that she has anxiety over this situation when she caused this whole drama fest by saying she was okay with his being Polyamorous in the first place. She’s saying she made concessions and asks of the advice giver when she she should stop making these imagined concessions and give up on the relationship.

1. You are a liar.

2. You are a manipulator.

3. You’ve brought this drama into your own life all by yourself by trying to change this guy.

That man was open, honest and completely upfront about himself from day one. With all due respect, you were not. You tried to change him and it blew up in your face. You need to accept that and move on. It’s not you that needs to get away from him, it’s him that needs to fly away from you. You are a drama llama. Nice talking.

And they call me crazy.

Obrigada Shawl Completed

2016-02-14 17.48.19

 

Now that the shawl is completed, all I need to do is save up the money to send it off to its new Human.

 

Here’s another picture of my view right now aside from this computer. Every last one of these tomatoes is green. Just my luck.

 

2016-02-19 21.36.43

 

In truth, I’m very exhausted right now but I cannot get to sleep due to so many people deciding to call, message, etc. either me or this house. I’m really REALLY hoping to catch up on my sleep tonight.

Incidentally, I’m looking to make some more friends on NaNoWriMo’s website. If you’re planning to participate this year and you’re interested in being friends, please feel free to add me. I’m “xantedeschia” on that site as well.

As much as it was difficult to do, I really enjoyed the creative process that came about during NaNoWriMo.

Updated Projects List

I’ve been pretty busy of late working on stuff around the house outside of crafting projects. Even with that, I’ve managed to get a few completed and start a few more.

 

  • João’s Hello Kitty Hat
  • Blodeuwedd The Hat for me
  • Little Boy Blue Blanket
  • Shimmer Stole
  • Handschuhe Times Two: Bruce’s Gloves
  • Cosmos Doily Madness: Doily Three
  • Rainstorm II Socks
  • Child-bearer’s Cardigan
  • Boba Fett Amigurumi Doll (Loading…Daylight hours)
  • Baby Groot (2) (Loading…Nighttime hours)
  • Rose Doily #804
  • Be a Friend/Have a Heart Shawl
  • In Love With Color Throw
  • Bigger on the Inside Shawl
  • Gloves for myself
  • A scarf for myself
  • Villimarjatar Shawl
  • Large Pineapple Doily

Please forgive the state of this blog. I was so angry over the Picasa fiasco, that I deleted my pictures from the Google servers. I am now repopulating the images into the blog posts. Given that I’m a verbose silly person, this is going to take some time to fill the hundreds of posts I have with images in them. I do have all my pictures though, so it shouldn’t be a problem just replacing the html with the new links to images.

 

It’s just going to take some time.

 

Incidentally, I’ve decided to upload to WordPress.com directly. They’ve changed a bit since the last time I looked into hosting my images here. With a little bulk resizing, thanks to FastStone, I’ve now got 2gb of pictures down to a little under half that size. Given that I haven’t used all the photos I uploaded originally to Picasa in posts, this should be sustainable for the short term. When it gets to the point where the allotment is full, I’ll just try to make an allowance to purchase a premium account. Crying face

 

It’s going to be very interesting seeing if I can scrounge up the $99 per year to do this. I really love my blog though, so, I’ll have to make a way.

What On Earth Was I Thinking?

So yeah, I signed up to do NaNoWriMo this year.

 

I haven’t a clue how to hammer together a novel. I barely have a clue how to write coherently or with proper punctuation. A fifty-thousand word goal seems out of my reach but I won’t know if I can do it unless I try. That’s all I can give is my best effort. The hilarious thing is that I have ideas popping out of my head all over the place but will any of them measure up to the word quota?

 

Whatever I ultimately decide to do, I am backing it up both on disk and in the cloud. I’ve had several data loss scares both personal and social reminding me to do so.

 

I’m also doing NaKniSweMo and at least with that, I am on somewhat familiar territory even if the scale is a bit overwhelming. I know how to knit. I know how to do the stitches required according to the pattern. Even if I’m working in hideous pink, I’m at least able to make out what I’m supposed to be doing, albeit slowly, and make progress.

 

Oh yeah, I did a new video (YouTube Link). Shockingly, it doesn’t feature video of the Aerogarden of Hope. In this episode, I’m reading a Richard Laymon story called Night Games. What I should be reading are my old college textbooks on writing comprehension. Instead, I’m reading Julius Caesar’s Commentaries on the Gallic Wars.

 

I’m going to admit to being nervous about this NaNoWriMo thing but I’m going to face it. I’ve been running from actually writing something meaningful for a long time. It’s time I stopped running away from this and achieve a writing milestone for myself.

 

The Aerogarden of Hope is doing well. For anyone who follows me on Instagram, you’ve seen the pictures of the jalapeno pepper plant. It’s loaded with peppers right now. So much so, that the remaining flowers are dropping off because the plant can sustain no more fruit. There must be at least thirty growing peppers right now at various stages of development.

 

It will be ten weeks of this garden growing in four day’s time. From there, it’ll be two more weeks before the oldest of these peppers are ready to be harvested. At least, that’s what the updated literature says.

 

The tomatoes…are growing a bit slower. They have flowers and all but they’re very short and not getting nearly enough light. I’m really hoping that they’ll catch up to the pepper soon.

 

Aside from this stuff happening, the most amazing thing ever occurred last night. The Maternal Parental and I watched several Epic Rap Battles of History videos and…she enjoyed them. We’re talking genuine joy and not merely a feigned interest.

 

Shocking, I know.

 

I was so happy she wasn’t depressingly clawing the door for cigarettes, that I wrote a thank you to the ERB twitter. If I get the energy in me, I might make them something in gratitude for making the Maternal Parental have a happy moment for the first time in a long time.

 

Okay, I’ve put it off for long enough. Tonight’s agenda is writing and trying to flesh out the story I’m going to do for NaNoWriMo. I can put it off no longer. It’ll be September in a few hours and that’ll mark two months before this whole thing is supposed to begin. Wish my nervous ass some excellent writing skills so I can accomplish this goal.

 

*firing up the Alice in Chains and Red Hot Chili Peppers music for inspiration and relaxation*

Interesting Turn of Events

Several months ago, my laptop died on me. It was a Dell Inspiron 17R for the people keeping score. Luckily, I’d backed everything up and had started using my Desktop (Dell Inspiron 560 for those keeping score) by the time the laptop became problematic.

Fast forward to last night. We had a power surge/outage that lasted several minutes. By this time, I’d backed up to various Cloud services and was still in the process of saving to get a new computer. I woke up this morning to the Amber Light of Death. I’m really hoping against hope that this can be fixed by a small replacement part. Otherwise, it’ll be months before I can save up enough money to get a system that can handle my needs.

In other news, my Equality Salsa Garden of Hope is really taking off.

image

Seriously hoping that html takes. I am currently working on a tablet and cell phone for all my Internet access. Could be worse. At least I’m not completely cut off.

The Equality Salsa Garden of Hope is currently twenty-four days old. All the plants are growing in a healthy manner and I look forward to having tomatoes and jalapeño peppers in a few more weeks.

Not much else is happening here. It’s hotter than hell, so I’m pretty much staying indoors with my DVD/Blu-ray collection. Going to go downstairs in a bit to watch a marathon of Doctor Who, Marvel movies and whatever else I can pull from my media shelf.

Take care, Peoples of the Sun. 😄💚🌈

Well, That Was…Interesting…

Baltimore City recently (27 April 2015) erupted into chaos. I, along with many others, sat watching it on live feeds and television, horrified by the violence. For any of you wondering, while I am from Baltimore City, I presently live in Baltimore County, so I’m well out of it. I appreciate your concerned messages though. Thank you for caring.

 

As far as I know, my family is okay. Thank you all for asking about them. Some were quite close to the action but stayed indoors and waited. As many of us did.

 

I will save the recriminations over who is ultimately responsible for this whole thing to more political and legal minds. I know what I’ve read and heard from the mouths of some though.

 

Moving on to other things, I am currently in the middle of doily three of the Cosmos Doily Madness. These doilies are for my friends on the occasion of their wedding…months ago. I’m hoping to give it to them by their anniversary. It should be done well before that time but, given how long it has taken me to get these done, I figured I’d give myself some leeway.

 

Sad news on the Health front. Doc F is leaving in July. I got a letter from him stating as much. Now, I’ve got to go get a new doctor. He was a pretty cool doctor too. I’m going to miss him. Crying face

 

Happy news on the health front. That Place has moved and…it moved less than a block from my Local Yarn Shop. Yep! I’ll be shopping at Cloverhill Yarn Shop from now on. I’m really looking forward to buying nice yarn when I’m finally off of my yarn diet. Don’t get me wrong. I love Knit Picks, Lion Brand, etc. but there’s something to be said about the appeal of being able to be tactile with the yarn you’re going to buy. One cannot do this when buying online. Open-mouthed smile

 

I’m planning on getting a butt load of Cascade Superwash 220 as well as whatever else they have that I like. I just have to get through my yarn diet which doesn’t end until 1 January 2017. I know, I’m a glutton for punishment. I love the colors and the fact that it’s Superwash yarn. I’m really looking forward to working with it. I’m also looking forward to socializing with other Knitters and Crocheters. Me…socializing. That’s so weird. Surprised smile

 

Okay, that’s enough rambling. Later! Rolling on the floor laughingRed heartRainbow

Sudden Hypersomnia

I went from not sleeping to sleeping too much. I don’t know how long this will last, but this sudden bout of hypersomnia sure is annoying. I can’t seem to get anything done. I’ll be in the middle of a project (like now!) and I’ll start yawning. Before I get to the end of it, my head is drooping towards the desk. This is completely insane. This is interfering in my talking with my friends, my work and even my eating schedule. There has to be a Happy Medium between Insomnia and Hypersomnia for me. There just has to be. Sad smile

 

Due to the above mentioned, I am no further along on the project I’ve been working on. The gloves are still at five rounds and judging by my yawning right now, there doesn’t look to be a change anytime today. I’m going to go to sleep one more time and try again in a few hours. If this fails to but an end to my sleepy spells, I’m just going to watch movies for the rest of today while I wait for tomorrow to come around. Perhaps a forced waking cycle will jumpstart my sleep patterns to act right. I don’t like it when things interfere with my work. Sad smile

 

As if oversleeping weren’t bad enough, I’ve been having nightmares about my former neighborhood again. PTSD worthy nightmares. I just can’t seem to shake the place from my system and it’s been more than eleven years since I’ve lived there. It’s got its claws in me pretty deep. I still can’t conceive how people are able to sleep comfortably at night while their fellow human beings are forced to live in such terrible circumstances like the ones I grew up in. Are people really that devoid of compassion? That’s mighty troubling if they are. Crying face

 

Well, I’m at the end of my wake time. Again. I’ll probably post again tonight if I get any further along on the gloves or tomorrow if I have to brute force my wakefulness. Later. 

I Live…

I took my first trip into the city by myself since becoming agoraphobic. Obviously, I’m writing this, so I survived. Yay!

It wasn’t as bad as my mind built it up to being. I was in a really busy area of downtown Baltimore city, surrounded by those people things, and I didn’t freak out at all. I made it to my appointment early and fulfilled my planned tasks admirably. As proven on my Instagram, I even rode the transit system all by myself.

I neglected to bring a project with me today though. Thankfully, I had my phone with its plethora of mental distractions. I learned languages and listened to music mostly during my sojourn. That was fun.

Next on my agenda is repotting some plants that desperately need repotting, continue in the knitting and crocheting saga that I have entangled myself in, clean up the disaster area also known as my room, vacuum and shampoo the carpet throughout the whole house, do the shopping for food and other sundries and ship off that which I have made already for others.

Now, for proof of my insanity: Clearly, I have lost my mind for even looking at this page when I have so many other things to do on my lists.

Speaking of insanity, I’m going to get more yarn from Knit Picks. It’s a vicious cycle, this yarn addiction is. You buy a bit and think that’s all you’ll get and before you know what’s hit you, you’re drawn in by its silky texture and cozy warmth. Then, you buy more and think you’ve got control, but you don’t. Not really. That’s when the hook is in. Oh yeah. That’s when they’ve got you. You try to shake it off and go cold turkey, then they go and offer you a $5 off promo code. So, now you’re going to spend the money you should be saving to go to the dentist on yarn. It’s a tragedy… o_O

I also ordered some reusable pie pans. I plan on making various pies with them. Right now, I’ve got a plan for turkey pot pie for the foreseeable future. I have vegetables for one, I just have to get vegetables for the second one. Mmmm, Okra… 🙂

I also ordered:

The Times of Harvey Milk (Hulu+ link)
The Princess Bride (for 1.99USD)
Spaceballs (also for 1.99USD)
Doctor Who – Series Eight (definitely NOT for 1.99USD)

I had ordered Guardians of the Galaxy but had to cancel it owing to my wanting to get the Maternal Parental something nice.

Regarding my post yesterday: So far, I haven’t gotten any of the negative responses or unfriendings I feared I’d get. Everyone has been loving and awesome. I love you all. You’re so cool. 🙂

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

From me at KaliTime’s Growing Lunacy, to you wherever you are. Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

Today gives me an opportunity to reflect on what I’m thankful for everyday. That’s my good friends and family, my capacity to learn and grow and my acquisition of the basic necessities for survival and thriving in this world. Anything else is gravy. Anything bad can roll off of my back. So, I’m good.

I did most of the cooking overnight, so I woke up to a feast. The only thing I didn’t cook were the sweet potatoes. I am about to bake a cake though. Yummy.

I’m saving every bone and flap of skin, every rogue piece of meat in that turkey though. I’m going to make soup with the remains. If I can get a pie pan soon enough, I’ll make a pot pie as well. I’ve got plenty of vegetables for it.

I just heard a bit of funny news. Not funny “Ha ha” but funny “WTAF”. Apparently, the ever growing commission can’t pay me again next month. This is after I ordered even more yarn for an enlargement of the order at their request. Good thing I got all the yarn on sale. I will finish the commission and I will hold onto it until I get paid.

That’s another thing I’m very thankful for. My savvy at getting stuff at a cheap price. If I had bought the yarn required for the order at a full price, I would have been livid on finding out I wasn’t being paid yet again. This is the last time though. I’m not going through this again as I’m sick of my chain being yanked. I don’t mean to brag but I’m a competent knitter and crocheter. It may not be Eunny Jang level knitting or Kristin Omdahl level crocheting, but it’s good. So, when a person doesn’t appreciate that I’m taking time away from other projects and my life to knit and/or crochet them items, I am, understandably angry.

Well, I was angry. I’m not anymore because it’s not happening again.

Last, but certainly not least. Today is the thirty-sixth anniversary of the assassination of Harvey Milk and George Moscone. I am thankful for all the hard work put forth by those who came before me, like Harvey Milk and George Moscone, and hope that I may make the way easier for those coming after me in generations to come. Both men stood up, not only for LGBT rights, but for the Human rights that should be respected for all and for that I salute them.

Help! Second Thoughts On The Little Boy Blue Blanket…

I get just over 1,020 yards of yarn (Pound of Love) crocheted into the Little Boy Blue Blanket and I have second thoughts about the size. Why me?

So, I am asking my fellow crocheters out there to answer this simple question. Is an acrylic 50″ x 50″ blanket too big for a newborn baby? I am not experienced in such matters, hence my overestimation. In the interest of full disclosure, a good majority of the babies in my family tend to be on the big side, again hence my overestimation. Still, I think that the blanket is too big.

I have a day over one week to get it done smaller if I do decide to unravel it. Do you think it could be done? Do you think it’s worth it? Do you think I should just continue? For the record, I do have a yarn ball winder, so it’s not like it’s that great a difficulty unraveling it.

Never let it be said that I don’t go for the difficult projects. That Nazanin S. Fard dress will be mine given the stitch count I’ve put into projects lately.

Aside from that, I’ve been invited to view a play! Yay! My friends have a part in the play An Ideal Husband at a local community center and I was invited to attend. I’m really looking forward to it even though it’s semi-back in that place. Yep, I’ll be sticking my toe into the waters of Park Heights again for the first time since my maternal grandfather’s funeral where the funeral car line drove through the neighborhood.

I don’t know how I feel about it yet. I don’t feel like I’ll have a anxiety attack from it though. While it’s close, it’s not exactly where I grew up. So, I don’t have a direct association of pain with where I’m going. Hopefully, I won’t freak out.

Anyway, thanks in advance for your help. 🙂

Exhaustion is Thy Name…

I worked most of the night and this is what I have to show for it.

20% completed at just under forty rows of crocheting. I am so tired but I’ve got to keep going. I’ve got to continue crocheting if this blanket is going to be finished by the 1st of September.

I really want this to be a nice thing for the baby.

The thing is, I don’t know if I have enough yarn to go into this blanket to make it a 50″ x 50″ finished product. I have extra Pound of Love yarn in other colors, but will it all blend together well? I have a lot of beige and a little of Pale Green, Pale Blue, Dark Blue and Lavender. I’m guessing no one wants Bubblegum Pink in this blanket.

Something told me to buy three skeins of Turquoise. Good grief.

Working Through The Pain and Other Things

I am going to do something I’m probably going to regret.

I’m going to knit and crochet despite blinding pain in my thumb.

For some time now, I’ve had a nagging pain right in the joint of my thumb that radiated outward from said joint. At first, I thought I’d sprained it and had it taped up to immobilize it. Nothing helped though and the pain was as present as ever. I began to speculate that, perhaps, this wasn’t a sprain but, instead, was a tendonitis issue. Yay, me. Not.

So, I was going to wait until my doctor had a look at my thumb to confirm or deny my hypothesis. However, my addiction to crafting is getting the better of me. I’ve been trying to knit without using my thumb which has turned out to be an exercise in futility.

Here’s where the regret comes in. I’m going to try knitting and crocheting, using my thumb on a limited basis, for at least these seven upcoming projects:

  1. My friend Sam’s hat.
  2. My friend Kathleen’s three doilies.
  3. My friend Lotta’s doily.
  4. My own warm weather scarf.
  5. My cousin’s baby blanket

I’m going to do my friend’s stuff first because I promised them this stuff. I’m going to do my cousin’s baby blanket next because that’s a paying gig. I’ll do my own project last because that’ll sit on the hook if I do too much damage to my thumb by the end of all this. I hope I don’t do any damage but it’s good to plan for such possibilities.

Aside from that, I’ve got Cinnamon Basil coming up!!!!! My seeds have become seedlings in less than a week’s time. I have every reason to believe, based on past evidence with this variety, that these will grow true to my past experience’s expectations. In addition to the seedlings I have coming up in the Spider Plant pot, I planted more cinnamon basil in with the Lemongrass, Ginger and Radishes. Whether they develop or die, as I take the radishes out, I’ll plant new seeds of either lemongrass or cinnamon basil.

Then, as soon as I get the individual pots and a lot more soil, I’ll plant one full of lemongrass, one full of cinnamon basil, one full of coleus, one full of geraniums and one full of nasturtiums. With the rest of the pots, I’ll root plants for my cousin, my neighbors and attempt to clone the African violet, as well as the hopefully rooted pineapple and sweet potato vines.

About the only other thing happening in my life right now is my new adherence to my friend Douglas’s fitness regimen. He posted it on a site we’re both a member of and, given his level of fitness, I’m definitely going to give his methods a try. In this regimen, I’ll be doing way more muscle building than calorie burning exercises. He is RIPPED, so I know it’s going to work. I just hope I can keep up with it.

That is about all I have to say right now. I’m going to get back to trying to knit this hat now. Later! 🙂