Ew, Depression…

Apparently, I am tanking mood wise. I don’t know what’s bringing it on but it isn’t fun to experience a sudden feeling of overwhelming woe and foreboding clutching at the pit of my very core.

 

This is happening pretty fast too. This abysmal feeling. I’m trying to use the CBT stuff I learned but to no avail. This emotional surge is just too thick. The only thing keeping me somewhat steady right now is my fingers tapping on this keyboard. What I really feel like doing is crying my eyes out for no apparent reason. It’s either that or retail therapy and, as an Impoverished American™, I am unable to participate in the latter due to some semblance of sanity remaining in my mind and a lack of finances in my pet bank accounts.

 

With every fiber of my being, I am trying to focus but it is proving difficult. I think I’ll ruin a few good stories I’ve been working on by tapping away at them in my altered state. That’s the more noble option in this mindset.

 

In other creative endeavors, Kathleen’s Cosmos doilies are almost complete. I will be working on the second batch of Cosmos doilies, in black, during the daylight hours only. I’m not as young as I once was when I could read tiny writing in a darkened room. Seeing black thread, without the benefit of an Ott-lite, in my dimly lit room, while trying to hook said thread with a 1.65mm hook is truly asking too much of me. So, in place of that, at night, I’ll work on Bruce’s black gloves. I can at least feel my way with those. Ha ha.

 

Ah, hell. Everything is distracting me now. I feel like my mind is being pulled in one thousand different directions at one time in multiple dimensions. I’m hoping that this will pass quickly. It’s just a Rapid Cycling event, I’m sure. It’s not a part of my bi-annual meteoric rise/crash and burn events. It’s too early for it to be that as those charming moments normally hit in May/June and October/November.

 

I’d better end this post here as my train of thought just went out the window. Instead of ruining my stories, I think I’ll absorb science videos on YouTube or something. Maybe my brain will make an inspired leap while in this altered state. Likely not. Still, it’s better than weeping in the corner. Sad smileRolling on the floor laughingCrying face

Magpie Mind Crafting

Let’s count, shall we?

 

I have:

  1. Seven projects I’m actively working on.
  2. Seven projects on my “to do” list.
  3. Two books to read.
  4. A protégé to teach.
  5. Pattern writing to learn to do.

 

So, why am I, even now itching to start a new knitting and crocheting project?

 

On top of all of this, I am so sleepy that I cannot function at the present time. Any notion of my doing all of these things is wishful thinking on my part.

 

For knitting, my addled brain wants to restart Villimarjatar. I tried it once previously and decided to frog it in favor of working it on larger needles. Well, I have the needles now. The only thing that has been stopping me has been my full schedule of projects. That, and an unwavering fear of catastrophically messing the project up. With the exception of my failed attempt at Villimarjatar, I’ve never knitted lace before in my life. So, this would be a first if I could get the project completed.

 

For crocheting, my addled brain wants to start the In Love With Color Throw. I just finished a Hexagon afghan and now my mind wants to do an Octagon and Squares afghan. Technically, nothing is stopping me for this one except for my responsibility to the projects I have on the table right now. I could get this afghan done in a few days and come back to everything else. It wouldn’t be right but I could do it.

 

Can you really blame me for my indecision though? Both patterns are gorgeous!

 

I’m a little further along on the gloves. I now proudly have nine rounds done on both. I’ve just got six more rounds to do before I’m into the main body of the gloves. Hopefully, I can achieve that level of completion by tonight at the earliest. It is my preference to be beyond the thumbs by noon. This project really shouldn’t take so long. I just have to focus and try not to sleep. Rolling on the floor laughing