Vocabulary

This is a write up of a few terms that might pop up more than once on this blog. I put them here on one page as a reference for you if coming upon them should cause a head scratching confusion. Ten to one someone will somehow find something that will either amuse or offend them. Prior to throwing love or hate mail at me, please go to this page for more info.

Please note…my mind is a chaotically quixotic massive enigma. Asking me to explain the myriad of connections, parallels and conjunctions within it is like asking me to perform brain surgery on myself…blindfolded…with my tongue…in a hurricane.

1. The Big Assed Knitting Needles of dOoM – A set of knitting needles I made based on a video I saw on the Knitting Help website. I used a pencil sharpener to whittle the two sticks ends down to points, smoothed them down, and painted them over with nail polish to preserve them.

2. The Rolling Stand – An old television stand that has stood the test of time. Its been with me since 1984 and is usually used for either electronic devices or digital media storage. On rare occasions, it’s been known to hold a plant but only a dry-ish one due to it being made of formica.

3. Yarn Bin Overladen – My yarn bin. It’s usually overloaded with various balls, hanks, and skeins of yarn. Is often seen in the company of Addition Al Supplies.

4. The Library – Can refer to any library anywhere but is usually a reference to one or more Libraries in the Baltimore County Public Library system. These are the Halls of Knowledge Attainment and Entertainment. There be Calvin and Hobbes books in them there shelves…

5. The Watercooler Bank Bottle of Destruction – The large watercooler bottle I use as a savings bank. It doubles as ‘penny penalty’ bank [cussin’ jar] when I curse. Once money goes in, it doesn’t come out until the bottle is either full or too heavy for me to carry to the bank or nearest coin exchange machine. Patience will be my virtue in this one.

6. The Happy Pills – My Psych Meds.

7. The Vampire’s Hollow – Donor Sites where I donate plasma, white blood cells, bone marrow, and platelets for the good of Humanity.

8. Vampires – Phlebotomists at the various donor sites where I give.

9. Stretch Limosine – Mass Transit in Maryland, DC, Virginia, and other places I visit.

10. Yum Yums – Comestibles, regardless of health content. During starvation periods, even the most unhealthy food is better than no food at all.

11. The Brown Battle Beast – My sewing machine. It’s a Singer 301a circa mid-1950s and sounds like all the ordinance from the past fifty wars going off all at once when I sew something. I was given it when my grandmothers things were divided amongst La Cosa Nos- I mean my family. (Given back to my family as I no longer had room for it in the Room of Doom.)

12. The Precious PC – My good dear friend, my circa late 1990s/early 2000s Gateway PC. I have had this computer through two monitors, three power stacks, two 56k modems, one DSL modem, one Cable modem, several leaps of technology, two lightning strikes [one purple and one blue-green], and three operating systems. Despite its age, it has somehow managed to keep up with most new innovations and I love it for it. I’ve got stuff running on here that usually sends my tech geek friends heads for a tailspin. (Now in the closet awaiting disposal)

13. The Laa Laa Lamp – My Lava lamp. It looks like a silver bullet, it’s got yellow wax, and light purple liquid.

14. The Secret Larder – The place I hide some non-perishable foods to keep others from consuming them too quickly. I’ve done this since I was a kid for some reason. It just makes me feel secure knowing its there even though I don’t actually eat it. I could be starving and it would still sit there undisturbed and stored away in an orderly fashion.

15. Shut Up Sesame – My secret hiding place. It’s my hidey hole and it’s currently at an undisclosed location for its own personal safety and the security of my Utopian Multiversal Meritocratic Dictatorship. *queues up the singing of the Intergalactic Anthem*

16. 31 October – Hallowe’en, Samhain, and any other name you wish to call it. If it falls on or about the time of 31 October, has to do with the beginning of the dark period of the year, scaring the shit out of people, passing around free candy, the souls crossing the barrier, the bridge, or the street even, then this is my day. This is the only holiday I actually celebrate. I acknowledge the existence of other holidays but I’m fanatical about 31 October.

17. Mi Droogs – All my friends both online and off. I’m pretty selective about who I call a friend. A friend to me is family, sometimes even more so than my own flesh and blood. This designation can include actual members of my family with whom I am close.

18. Pet Bank Accounts – Often referring to my sorely poorly bank accounts. Usually given a cash injection through temp labor, independent work, medical/clinical/research studies, and self made stuff I’ve sold.

19. Save The KaliTime Fund – Not a real charity…unless you want it to be. No, really. I have a PayPal…I am kidding. Usually is a joking appeal to the Multiverse for a Deus Ex Machina event to occur that will whisk me away from whatever financial hassles I’m embroiled in at the time of the posting.

20. My Third Home – Bethesda, specifically the National Institutes of Health. I’m usually down there whenever I can manage to make it there. I get the experience of being the perpetual pin cushion but I love every minute of it. Its fun helping out for the good of money Science.

21. Yogurt Age – The transitional period between late teen/early adulthood into a more mature adult. Usually associated with a decrease in cursing, more active interest in health concerns, financial issues, and retirement plans. One of the defining characteristics of this period is the spontaneous intake of large quantities of Yogurt [or other substance associated with adulthood]. The median age for Yogurt Age averages out to be twenty-eight but can occur at anytime during the human organisms development.

22. Zen’Shara – A crossing of Zen and Vulcan philosophy. For no apparent reason whatsoever, I started saying it when a Facebook friend asked whether I got the same pains that she did when doing the high kick she’d done in her profile photo. My reply was ‘no’ before I offered her the ‘Wisdom of the Zen’Shara’ to acheive the feat by transcending the aches and pains. I think that all those cracks about my eyebrows have finally driven me mad…*vacant stare*

23. Frankenfoot – The temporary [hopefully] designation for my left foot. Its currently affected by a tendon condition called Plantar Fasciitis and it’s made walking painful at the best of times and nearly impossible at the worst. As a result of Frankenfoot, I spend most of my time in the upstairs area of my home and, when I do want to go downstairs, I usually have to crawl it. Treatment for Frankenfoot is currently on the fence due to both the fear of a rebound/worsening of the condition due to the surgery and the recovery time which rivals the non-surgical version. Will Frankenfoot still be here by this time next year? Only time and this blog will tell…